Won't Let Go
by ontheedge19
Summary: A/U...Jessie and Katie become best friends and more...but Katie is struggling with a dark and painful secret.  Can Jessie help her overcome her greatest challenge?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of it's characters, or any of it's storylines. Unfortunately.

**Author's Note:** This story involves cutting. If you don't agree with it, I suggest you don't read. Not everybody cuts for attention. For some, it truly is the only escape that they have from the pain of life. Those who cut, need support and people who believe in them. If people just leave them, it gets worse. So many people out there cut or have cut, and this is going to be a deeply personal story. I'm not writing this to hear lectures on how cutting is a joke and those who do cut are simply showing off. Cutting is a problem. And it's very real. And if I can raise awareness of it, even only among this small community, then maybe there will be a brighter hope for someone in the future.

And I do apologize for never finishing Falling...I had intended to continue with it but life got...I'll say interesting. I haven't picked up a pen, or rather I guess keyboard, in months. So if my writing is a little rusty I do apologize.

As Jessie walked through the big double doors at the front of the school, she felt almost ready to vomit. For once, though, it wasn't owing to the fact she had eaten breakfast. Jessie had always been laid back and quiet, and had never been able to make friends easily. And now here she was, starting junior year at a new school.

It had been a whirlwind summer. Her dad had a new wife, Jessie had two new step sisters, she lived in a new house and now here she was at a new school, trying to assure herself that she'd fit in. Surely it couldn't be as bad as her last school, where her secret but draining battle with anorexia had built an invisible box around her, separating her from the other students. There she had just been shy, depressed Jessie. But here, nobody knew her. She could reinvent herself if she so desired.

However, one look at the giant mob of teens milling around and chatting in the entrance forum shoved all reassurances out of her head. This school was quite a lot bigger than her last one. Sure, it would make it easier to be invisible, but if she decided she didn't want to be invisible, it would make it a heck of a lot harder to find people she could trust and fit in with.

"There's the office," said her stepsister Grace, pointing across the way. "You can sign out your locker and get your timetable in there." She paused, and an almost pained look came across her face. "Do you need me to come with you?"

Jessie knew offering her company was akin to pulling teeth for Grace. Ever since they were forced to live under the same roof, Grace had pretty much ignored Jessie, which was fine with her. It wasn't that they disliked each other; it was just that they lived their lives in separate spheres which didn't even come close to touching.

"Thanks, but I think I can handle it Grace," Jessie said, letting her off the hook. With an almost genuine smile of thanks, Grace waved goodbye and set off down a hallway.

Fifteen minutes later, Jessie emerged from the office, desperately hoping the secretary she had to deal with wasn't indicative of the rest of the staff. That lady could have turned Mother Teresa into a murderer. But she had survived, and now turned her attention to trying to find her locker. She struggled through the packed hallways, thoroughly lost and not at all surprised when she walked straight into someone's back and fell hard on her backside. A fairly good looking guy turned around and looked around quizzically for a moment, before he locked eyes with Jessie on the floor. A grin spread across his face, and Jessie felt a blush heating her cheeks.

"Need a hand?" he asked, extending his arm down to her, which she gratefully took. He helped pull her to her feet and then said, "Nice to know I can make a beautiful girl fall for me so easily."

Jessie was at a loss for words when she saw a hand come around and smack the guy hard round the side of the head.

"Ow, what the hell Katie?" he vehemently exclaimed, rubbing his head and partially turning to reveal to Jessie one of the most beautiful girls she had ever seen. Her eyes were a stunning, deep blue and her smile, though half exasperated, took Jessie's breath away.

"Seriously Tad, could you be a bigger dork? Cheesy pickup lines never work, even if they're actually intelligent," she laughed at him. Tad scowled at her but grinned and then she turned to Jessie. "The giant loser who knocked you over is Tad. And I'm Katie," she said smiling, and offered Jessie her hand to shake. It was then that Jessie noticed that, despite the sweltering heat of the early September day, Katie was wearing long sleeves. She shook the thought away though, and took her hand, trying to ignore the electricity which seemed to tingle her skin from Katie's touch.

"I'm Jessie."

"Well it's nice to meet you, Jessie," Katie said, giving her a megawatt smile before removing her hand from Jessie's grasp. Jessie tried not to be too upset over the loss of contact.

"And I'm really sorry for knocking you over," Tad put in, still grinning.

"Don't worry about it, I'm the one who walked into you."

"Well yeah, but I can take the blame."

"Such a gentleman," Katie muttered sardonically, rolling her eyes.

Tad gave her a playful shove and then carried on. "So what had you so distracted you failed to notice my shockingly good looks before you collided with me?"

"Oh, uh right, I was trying to find my find my locker. I just got it assigned and these numbers don't make any sense."

"Ah, assigned locker...I knew you were a new student. There's no way I could've not noticed someone as good looking as you for two whole years," Tad said in what he apparently thought was a suave voice. Jessie struggled to keep herself from giggling. Katie, however, wasn't so successful and burst out laughing, giving Tad another smack, this one on the arm.

"Oh my goodness Tad, you are pathetic. Remind me why I'm friends with you?" He didn't answer, but mumbled something under his breath while frowning and rubbing his bicep. "Anyway, Jessie I can help you find your locker if you want. Whoever designed this school is an idiot, but I'm sure I can help you get it figured out."

"That'd be great!" Jessie smiled, excited at the prospect of not only finding her hidden locker, but also being able to spend some more time alone with Katie. She was surprised and a little bit confused at that latter thought, but chalked it up to being given a chance to fit in.

"Oh I'll come too!" Tad jumped in enthusiastically.

"Didn't coach Rudd want to see you before first period?" Katie asked him. Tad grumbled and pouted, but Katie simply patted his arm and reached out and took Jessie's hand. "See you around loser."

As Katie pulled her along, Jessie marvelled at the feeling of her hand in hers. The moment Katie had boldly taken hold of it, a tingling sort of sensation had started in her hand, and was making its way to her stomach, where she could feel butterflies dancing around. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling at all. She was so caught up in thought she almost missed Katie asking her for her locker number. Katie made a sharp turn down one hall, and Jessie tripped, almost colliding with her back. She was glad she didn't completely embarrass herself for the second time in a mere five minutes, but she couldn't keep herself from wondering what it would have felt like to be pressed up against Katie's back.

"Well here we are," Katie announced, once again pulling Jessie from her thoughts.

"Thank you so much, you really are a lifesaver."

"No problem. Hey, can I see your schedule? I mean, if we have some of the same classes I can show you around some more."

Jessie handed her the sheet of paper she received earlier from the office, making sure their hands touched in what she hoped was a subtle way. And, just like before, the contact sent a thrill of emotion through her entire body.

"Hmm, three classes and lunch together, not bad." Katie looked up and gave Jessie a supermodel type smile, making her knees go a little weak for some reason. "Looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other Jessie."

At that, Jessie smiled bigger than she had in days, and couldn't think of one single reason for why she would hate this school year.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of it's characters, or any of it's storylines. Unfortunately.

For the first time since she had been in kindergarten, Jessie woke up every morning excited to go to school. She'd roll out of bed smiling, eat breakfast without hesitation, and even endure the terrifying ride with Grace without complaint. Then she'd practically sprint down the hallways until she reached Katie's locker, where her and Tad could always be found.

Jessie had never met anyone like Katie before. She was popular and well-liked, yet didn't crave the attention like so many others. She seemed to have boundless energy, but it was endearing rather than annoying. Katie was confident in herself and her personality. Whenever she was around Katie, Jessie found a smile permanently on her face. Even though she had only known her for a few days, Jessie trusted Katie.

Jessie quickly found out that Tad and Katie were a package deal. They were as close as brother and sister. After the second lunch hour she spent with him, Jessie had already learned to shrug off his pitiful and never ending attempts at flirting. Tad was a joker and thought himself a ladies' man, but underneath all of that Jessie could tell he was a genuinely good guy.

Jessie even enjoyed most of her classes, mainly due to the fact Katie was in most of them. Even now, as she sat through English first thing on a Friday morning, Jessie found herself entertained by means of a fiercely competitive hangman tournament with her seatmate.

"Alright, class dismissed, and remember those assignments for Monday!" called out their teacher, Mr Dimitri over the bell signalling the end of the period.

Jessie groaned as she picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. "Great. What assignment is he talking about?"

"Oh, we're each supposed to write a five page 'biography' on our partners," Katie responded automatically, her brow furrowing as she studied their sheet filled with poor little stick men. "And I definitely am the hangman champion, I won five games and you only won four!"

Jessie stared at her friend in shock, though not due to her declaration that she won the tournament. How Katie could do nothing but eat, sleep, joke and talk through an entire class defied logic. "How do you do that?" she asked incredulously.

"What do mean? I pick the most random words I can think of! And when I'm guessing, I have a strategic system for picking the letters. It's actually quite ingenious and effective, which I'm sure you've noticed."

"Not hangman you goof! How did you know what the assignment was?"

"I listen Jessie," she replied, rolling her eyes, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

"No you don't! You slept for thirty minutes and when you woke up all you did was play hangman!"

Katie shrugged. "I'm good at multitasking. I'm psychic. I'm simply talented. You can take your pick."

Jessie laughed as she walked with the taller girl to their math class. Katie was crazy. Then she remembered a previous statement. "You so did not win!" she exclaimed, grabbing her arm and turning her around so they faced each other. "I would've won the last game, but you spelled the antidisestablishmentarianism wrong!"

Katie simply shrugged her shoulders. "I missed a letter. It should've been easier for you. I won." She took a step closer to her, and Jessie's breath caught in her throat as Katie brushed some stray hair behind her ear. "But if it means that much to you, we can have a rematch in math. Now come on."

And with that, Jessie smiled like a child on Christmas as Katie linked their fingers together and they took off.

"Hey!"

Jessie jumped violently as she felt someone grab her from behind, but relaxed when she realized it was Katie, currently experiencing one of her infamous sugar rushes. They were in the change room preparing for gym, but Jessie wasn't surprised to see Katie was already changed into the required gym uniform. For some reason, Katie always changed in the girls bathroom. It surprised Jessie a little bit that Katie wasn't comfortable enough to change with the rest of the class given she was one of the most popular kids in school.

"How was geography without me?" Katie asked, smiling cheekily.

"Unbearably boring," Jessie replied, being completely truthful. It was the only class they didn't share, and it was almost painful without Katie chatting nonstop beside her.

"I am sorry to hear that. But I was wondering... you know that assignment Dimitri wants us to do?" Katie asked as they entered the gym. Jessie nodded. "I called my parents and they said it was cool if I went to your place to work on it after school. If it's alright with you of course. I mean it's a Friday, and I've never really done anything on Friday nights, but it's a big party night. So if you did have something better to do-"

Jessie put a hand over her mouth, effectively cutting off Katie's ramble. "I don't have anything to do. It would be great."

"Oh okay, that's settled then," Katie smiled.

"Ah Ms. Singer, I'm pleased to see that despite the reminder I have given you every day for the past two years, you still manage to find a way to thwart the point of a gym uniform," said their teacher, Mr. Cassius. He was, of course, referring to the Under Armour long sleeved shirt Katie always adorned under her gym shit. Today's was bright purple.

"Sorry Cassius, but it's my lucky charm, you know that."

"A 'Mr.' would be nice, Ms. Singer." He rolled his eyes, but turned away and finished setting up the gym.

They ended up having a four team dodgeball tournament. Katie was the all star on her championship team, diving this way and that to secure victory after victory. She was so fiercely intent on winning Jessie couldn't help but laugh at her.

After surviving the hairpin rides on the way back to the Sammler house, Jessie and Katie made their way up to Jessie's room, which was in the attic. Jessie liked the feeling of privacy which came with her new room, but much preferred the cozy feeling of love and comfort she had in her room at her mom's place. Katie however, fell in love with the attic room straight away.

"This is so cool!" she enthused, walking around the spacious room. "It's like having your own apartment, or a loft or something! I'd love to have a space like this." She turned in time to see Jessie simply shrug. "You don't like it?"

"It's not that, it is a cool room. I just... I don't know. I guess I just don't like this house. Actually that's not true either. I'd like any house if it could be my real family living in it." Jessie immediately clammed up, realizing that she had just shared some of her more private thoughts with someone she had only known for four days. "Right, well we should probably get going on these biographies."

Katie nodded, but was looking at Jessie in a deep, thoughtful way. Jessie pulled her English binder out of her bag, grabbed a pen and flopped down on her stomach on her bed. After another moment of contemplation, Katie did the same.

"So what are we supposed to write about anyway?" Jessie asked.

"Well, Dimitri left it mainly open. He wants a basic life story, but we should focus on whatever we find most interesting about our partners. Do you want to interview me first?"

"No, I want to get this over with. I hate talking about myself."

"Well, I'll start easy then. When's your birthday?"

"June fourth. And before you ask, yes I was born here in Evanston."

"Okay, so do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"I have an older brother. Eli. He's three years older than me." Jessie paused, but then for some reason felt she should elaborate. "We were really close when we were younger. He was a great story teller. The places he would take me in my imagination...for a while I really did believe anything was possible. But we've drifted apart. I guess we kind of just stopped talking. I think we started drifting during my parents divorce."

"How long ago did your parents get divorced?" Katie asked softly.

"Three years ago," Jessie answered on automatic.

"Was it tough?"

"Yeah. I cried myself to sleep more nights than I can remember. That's when my anorexia began too." Jessie's eyes widened. She hadn't meant to say that. She didn't look up at Katie, for fear she'd see the same judgement she saw in the eyes of so many others. But after a second, she felt a hand placed lightly, almost hesitantly, on her back, where Katie began to rub soft, soothing circles.

"Why do you think you didn't eat?" Katie asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I don't know. It just felt wrong. Meals were always about family at my house. But when my dad moved out, there was always someone missing. It felt wrong. And my mom didn't even notice." Jessie had never opened up to anyone before, besides her therapist. But with Katie gently rubbing her back, Jessie felt more at ease and more comfortable than she had in a long time. "After a while, I guess I just kind of got used to it. The not eating part. It was a way to deal with the pain. It wasn't a very good way, but it was there."

Katie's hand stilled on her back for a split second, and Jessie heard her let out a deep, sad sounding sigh.

"It must be hard to see your dad move on, and to be living here with new people in your life."

"At first I was really angry at my dad when I found out he was marrying Lily. But I guess I understand it now. I mean, nobody likes to be alone. I wish more than anything he was still married to my mom, but I guess I can't blame him for being happy."

"But what about you? Are you happy?"

Jessie turned her head and looked up at Katie, meeting her eyes. She knew she could never lie to Katie, that she'd be able to see through that in an instant. "Truthfully? No. I rarely get to see my mom. Lily tries hard but she'll never be a mother figure to me. Zoe's a pain in the butt and Grace," she paused and grimaced. "Well you know her from school. But, these past few days, I've been happier than I have been in a long time."

Katie gave her a dazzling smile, which Jessie returned. They stayed like that for a few minutes; lying on the bed side by side, gazing at each other. Jessie could've happily stayed like that forever, but the thought of their assignments crossed her mind.

"So what about your family?"

Katie's smile left her face in an instant, and a hard, guarded look came over it instead. Katie seemed to realize this, and she forced another smile, but this one did not reach her eyes, which remained wary. "Oh, well you know, they're a family. We're pretty basic. I live with my mom and my dad, I have three older brothers, two are lawyers and the other is in med school. You know, we're just typical."

Jessie's brow furrowed. "That's all I get? I tell you some of my biggest secrets, and you can't even tell me your brothers' names?"

"Jake, Ethan and Matthew," Katie reeled off at once.

"Katie you know what I mean. Come on, what are they like? Do you have any embarrassing childhood stories? Are you close with your brothers?"

"It's like I said, we're pretty basic," Katie said, her voice casual but rushed. She sat up, and her posture was stiff. "There's nothing exciting to tell with my family. We're as boring as it gets. Hey do you think we could like, order a pizza or something? I'm starving."

Jessie sat up too, and looked at her new friend, who was giving her a nervous smile and fidgeting with her hands in her lap. She knew there was something Katie wasn't sharing. On the other hand, Katie was always so upbeat and happy Jessie couldn't imagine what dark secrets she could have. It was possibly that her family really was just an average family, and there was nothing to share. Jessie had also known some people before who were embarrassed by money or lack of it. Katie's lack of information didn't have to mean anything bad. However, it was difficult to push back the feeling of unease she had. In the end though, she put on a smile.

"Alright, we can work on this later. We better get you some food. I don't want a repeat of Wednesday's math class."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of it's characters, or any of it's storylines. Unfortunately.

**Author's Note: **So, I do apologize profusely for dropping off the face of the Earth for a month. See, I got knocked out in a soccer game. And in doing so I got my second concussion in nine months. The first one was bad enough, but this was considered a moderate concussion instead of a mild one. So I've been unable to do anything which much to my dismay has included going on the computer. Anything bright made my head feel like it was being nailed to a wall. But now, even though I still have PCS, at least I can go online, and watch TV, and walk outside without sunglasses. So YAY! Cuz it was pissing me off. Pardon my language. I also wrote this in a grand total of three hours (on a sugar rush) so if it's not fluid and stuff I apologize again.

By the way, reviews are very welcome. Don't be afraid to tell me how awful at writing I am :P

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Jessie sat in Grace's car on the way to school Monday morning, so deep in thought she missed Grace almost hitting a cat, which normally would've sent her into a tirade about her unsafe driving. But this morning, all Jessie could think about was Katie.

She had her biography about Katie tucked safely in her bag, but she really didn't want to hand it in. It wasn't that it was bad work, Jessie thought it was actually pretty well written. But it felt incomplete to Jessie. It felt like the most vague and simple outline of who Katie really was. Sure, Katie had given her a couple of great stories. She told her the faint scar above her eye was from a falling picture frame, and Katie's 'welcome to high school' moment had been walking into a pole in front of a hundred grade twelve's. Katie had Jessie literally rolling on the floor laughing at some moments, but the most personal information Katie had given her was about her favourite aunt. Jessie couldn't decide what bothered her more; the fact that Katie wouldn't tell her more about herself, or the fact Katie felt she had to hide who she really was.

But, those weren't the only thoughts swirling around in Jessie's head regarding Katie. Jessie had never really had a close friend before. So she didn't know if it was normal to smile every time you thought about them. Jessie would smile just thinking about the girl, and whenever Katie would hug her Jessie would find herself wishing she'd never let her go. Katie was consuming all of her thoughts, day and night, and Jessie found that she didn't mind one bit.

"Earth to Jessie," Grace practically yelled, pulling Jessie out of her musings.

"Oh, uh what? Sorry Grace, did you say something?"

Grace rolled her eyes and heaved a long, drawn out sigh. "Are you like in love or something? Honestly, it's a nice change from you gripping the seat white knuckled, but I have to say that you sitting there with a dreamy smile on your face is kind of creepy."

Grace's comment had startled Jessie. Was she in love? Wait, with Katie? No, that had to be impossible. Katie was her friend, and sure she liked her, but in a completely normal, non-smitten way. Besides, Katie was a _girl. _Realizing Grace had continued on, Jessie pulled herself back to what she was saying with difficulty.

"Anyway Jessie, I just wanted to say that I'm glad to see you've made some friends," said Grace, it an oddly patronizing tone of voice. "I was a little bit worried I'd have to step in so you wouldn't end up being a complete loner. But I did notice who your friends were, and Jessie are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?"

"What do you mean? What's wrong with Katie and Tad?"

"Oh well, Tad's an idiot but for the most he's pretty harmless," Grace said with a dismissive wave of her hand. The car swerved a bit and Jessie instinctively assumed her natural position when driving with Grace; fingers digging into the sides of her seat in a death grip. "It's more Katie who I'm talking about."

Jessie frowned. "There's nothing wrong with Katie, she's amazing!"

"Well yeah, everyone likes her but Jessie, that's not the issue. She's gay!"

"What?"

"Yup. The famous Katie Singer is a lesbian."

"How do you know that?"

"Well first off she's never dated a guy, and she could get any guy in the school if she wanted to. But last year her and this girl Sarah were totally in love. And then Katie like completely broke her heart. It was all over school, and it happened right before Christmas." Jessie sat silently as what Grace was saying started to sink in. She barely noticed they had arrived at the school. "Anyway Jessie, with you being my step sister and all, I thought it was only fair that I warned you. Whether or not Katie likes you or _likes _you, people talk. They've already started."

Jessie left the car and entered the building in a sort of daze. First, she couldn't believe what a gossip Grace was. And then...what if Katie was gay? Jessie had been raised knowing that men married women. It was just natural that way. So would it bother her if Katie was gay? The answer came to Jessie without hesitation. No. It wouldn't bother her at all. Who was Jessie, who had never been in a relationship in her life, to say who someone could or couldn't date? Whether Katie was into guys or girls didn't matter at all. And for all Jessie knew, she'd be very lucky if Katie was in fact gay.

She was smiling brightly as she approached Katie's locker, but hung back as she heard Katie and Tad having what sounded almost like an argument.

"Tad will you just drop it?" Katie was saying in a hushed yet heated voice.

"No, Katie I want to make sure!"

"I've told you Tad, a million times, I haven't in months!"

"Katie I still want to see. It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that I know how it was for you, and it's hard to quit it! So please, just let me make sure. You're my best friend Kat, I worry about you."

Deciding that she didn't want to be caught eavesdropping, Jessie walked up to them. "Hey guys!" she greeted.

"Oh hey Jessie!" Katie exclaimed, smiling grandly. But Jessie could tell that her eyes were bright and a little wet, as if she had been on the verge of tears.

"Hi Jess," said Tad, sounding abnormally subdued.

"So did you get your assignment finished?" Katie asked her.

"Yeah, I don't really like it though. I don't think I did my subject justice."

"Awe, thanks Jessie!" Katie smiled at her, and then a mischievous look passed over her face. "Well, you could always have a day extension."

"How do you figure Mr. Dimitri would let me have an extra day to work on it?"

"Oh, I never said we'd ask Dimitri. My parents are away for the week at a conference, and none of my brothers live at home anymore. In other words, my house is empty and just waiting for someone to skip school."

Jessie's mouth dropped open slightly as she realized what Katie was suggesting. Skipping school was something Jessie had never done in her life. However, Jessie had, until this point, lived her life between a very narrow set of lines, intent to never stray outside the boundaries of normalcy and what was accepted. Maybe it was time to live her life a little.

"You know what Katie, that sounds perfect."

Katie grinned triumphantly, and turned to Tad. "So Tad, could you be a sweetheart and call in sick for us?"

"Yeah, of course I will Singer," Tad said in a tone which plainly told Jessie that this was not the first time Katie had done such a thing.

"Thanks Tad, you're the greatest!" Katie exclaimed, then leaned over to give him a quick peck on the cheek. She then grabbed Jessie's hand and pulled her towards the back doors, practically skipping with excitement.

After an eventful bus ride where Katie succeeded in getting them lost twice, they arrived at the Singer household, which made Jessie stop and stare in awe. It was one of the biggest, most gorgeous houses she had ever seen.

"You live here?" Jessie asked, her voice full of amazement.

"My parents do well for themselves," Katie shrugged as she unlocked the front door and let them inside.

Jessie barely had time to admire the gigantic foyer when Katie tugged her up a winding staircase. She led Jessie into a room which she was assuming was Katie's. Jessie almost laughed when she stepped inside. The house itself represented nothing of Katie. This room however...nothing was in order and everything was chaos. It was just so completely Katie.

"Oh yeah, sorry about the mess," Katie said, bending down to pick up some clothes and in the process knocking more off the top of her dresser. "I had meant to clean it at some point. Like, for the past two years."

Jessie laughed, not caring in the slightest how messy the room was. She simply sat on the bed, which was overflowing with an abundance of cuddly stuffed animals. "Don't worry about it Katie." Katie came and sat down beside her. "So what did you have in mind for us to do on our day off?" Jessie queried.

Katie shrugged. "I don't know. We can watch a movie I guess," she said motioning to a shelf stuffed with movies. It was only then that Jessie noticed a very large TV sitting in the corner. "I don't really care, I just didn't want to deal with school today."

Jessie hesitated, wondering if it was worth asking. She decided she wouldn't be much of a friend if she didn't at least try. "Katie, is there something wrong?"

Katie sat silently for a long time, picking up a tiny stuffed penguin and flapping his wings. Then she hugged it to herself, and said, "Sometimes I just get lonely."

Jessie had never been good at dealing with emotions, and didn't really know what to say. So she sat, waiting, hoping that if Katie needed to talk she would realize Jessie would listen to whatever she had to say. And after another moment, Katie did talk.

"At school, I have friends. I guess you could say I'm really popular," she said with a sigh. "But I'd give it all up if I just had people here. My parents are always gone, and even if they weren't, it's not like I'd ever be good enough for them."

"What do you mean? Katie you're amazing! You do well in school, you have a hundred talents and you're an amazing person. Surely they realize that."

"Yeah, I get A's in school and can play whatever sport I want to. So what? The point is I don't want what they want. I'm a singer. I'm supposed to either become a corporate success, a powerful lawyer or a world renowned surgeon. I'm supposed to have my name in Time magazine. I'm supposed to be straight. I'm supposed to play piano and rub shoulders with the world's classiest people. What I'm not supposed to do is be hyperactive, love the wrong people and have the life goal of travelling and seeing the world. My life was mapped out for me before I was even born. And now here I am, deviating, or at least trying to, from that map. And my parents have no time for disappointments."

Throughout Katie's rant she had gotten up and paced around the room in aggravation, but then she came and flopped on the edge of her bed, head lowered and shoulders sagging. Tentatively, Jessie inched her way over until she was sitting right beside Katie.

"You're not a disappointment Katie," Jessie tried, but Katie only snorted. "Okay look, I don't know your parents. But I know you. And what I do know is that you are utterly unique. And if your parents can't see what a wonderful daughter they have then they're idiots."

Katie let out a watery giggle, and Jessie found herself slipping an arm around her like it was the most natural thing in the world. She leaned closer in to Katie, and used her other arm to gently turn Katie's face toward her own. Jessie felt her heart speed up, and she wondered what the hell she was doing. But Jessie had made up her mind. She looked into Katie's eyes, and felt herself getting lost in them.

"They may not. But I do realize how truly incredible you are."

And without giving herself anymore time to think about it, Jessie leaned in, and captured Katie's lips with her own.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

**Author's Note: **This chapter's kind of like a filler, but I wanted to show that Tad and Katie really do share a brother/sister bond. Hope it's still okay. And I just want to give a shout out to any and all fellow suffering Leafs fans out there...we're still in the playoff race! They've still got a shot :) GO LEAFS GO!

XxXxXxXxXx

Jessie had never felt anything like this before. For the first time in her life, she stopped worrying about what _was _right and only considered what _felt _right. And this was something she hoped would never end.

The kiss lasted for only a few seconds, but to Jessie it felt like forever. She was in a state of bliss and didn't think about anything except how it felt to be kissing Katie Singer. It was only when she pulled back, a smile playing upon her lips that she thought about Katie's reaction.

Nervously, Jessie took in her friend's appearance and wasn't sure whether or not to be worried. Katie sat beside as if frozen, her eyes closed. Moments passed and a panic started to fill Jessie. What if she had just ruined their friendship? What if she had just pushed away the closest friend she had ever made? Jessie was just about to say something when Katie's eyes popped open and peered into her own. Their emotion was unreadable.

"Why did you do that?" Katie whispered, and her voice, too yielded no clue as to what she was thinking.

"I'm sorry Katie, I shouldn't have done that, I didn't think!" Feeling like she needed to put some space between them, Jessie stood up and walked a few steps away, her back to Katie. "I'm sorry. You were just sitting there and it was breaking my heart to see you like that."

Jessie crossed her arms, hugging herself, and trying to hold in the tears threatening to fall. Any moment now she was sure Katie would tell her how much she hated Jessie for what she had just done. Jessie was bracing herself for the worst, and when she felt a hand placed softly on her shoulder she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"I'm sorry Jessie, that's not what I meant to say. Not at all," Katie said, and then Jessie heard a quiet chuckle. "And Tad always tells me I have better game with the girls than he does. But I'm sure if a beautiful girl kissed him he wouldn't ask such a dumb question."

At this Jessie turned around to face Katie. Katie was smiling slightly, but her eyes were still slightly wet. Whether that was from her confessions or the kiss, Jessie could not venture a guess. Katie dropped her gaze down, and cautiously, almost timidly, took one of Jessie's hands in her own.

"I've liked you since the moment I first saw you Jess. There's something about you that just pulls me in and I can't escape it, not that I want to. But you also get me, and you listen and you're a great friend, and I didn't want to lose that. But just now, _you _kissed _me_. _You _made the first move. And I just need to know...did you do that because you felt sorry for me? Or maybe you heard that I was gay and wanted to give it a try? Or..." Katie paused and raised her head to look at Jessie, smiling shyly. "Or do you maybe like me too?"

Jessie broke out into a huge smile. "I think it's 'because I like you too."

Katie's smile grew, and she closed the distance between them slowly. And this time it was Katie who made the first move, and as Jessie's heart swelled with a happiness she hadn't felt in years, she realized that she would gladly spend all day and everyday kissing Katie Singer.

XxXxXxXxXx

Jessie walked to the cafeteria in a euphoria-induced haze. She had been smiling the whole day, and she knew she probably looked like a geek, but she didn't care one bit. Katie just had that affect on her.

They spent the afternoon the day before watching movies, cuddling together on a couch Katie managed to unbury from beneath a mound of old school projects and CD's. Jessie was going to call her dad and ask to spend the night at Katie's, but was surprised to hear her mom had called for her. Jessie hadn't seen her mom in weeks, and couldn't bring herself to turn down an invitation to sleep in her old bed under her own roof.

When Jessie arrived at school this morning, she raced to Katie's locker and their routine hug was much more energetic and lasted much longer than usual. Jessie caught herself staring at Katie in the minutes leading up to the bell, and had to remind herself that Tad was there as well. Not to mention the hundreds of other kids who somehow fit into the hall. Even so, it took every ounce of self control Jessie had to not pull Katie into a mind blowing kiss.

Jessie had no clue what had happened in either of her morning classes, and was hoping Katie could work her magic and catch her up later. Unfortunately for Katie, their math teacher Ms. McKay seemed to be the only person on Earth immune to Katie's charms, which was why Jessie was now heading to lunch alone. She hoped Katie wouldn't be long, and didn't get into too much trouble.

Entering the cafe, Jessie spotted Tad right away, sitting at their usual table. He smiled and waved as Jessie made her way over.

"So is Ms. McKay ripping a strip off Katie right now?" he asked as Jessie sat down.

"How'd you know that?" Jessie asked curiously.

"We had her last year for grade ten math." Tad rolled his eyes, taking a big bite of his turkey sandwich. "She's neurotic, and it irked her to no end that Katie would never pay attention in class, yet still manage to pull off nearly perfect scores on every test. She was convinced Katie cheated. Never managed to prove it, and now she seems to have some sort of grudge against Katie. I think it's jealousy," Tad said, chuckling.

Jessie smiled goofily at Tad's story. Her smile grew as she started thinking about Katie, and the events of the day previous. Jessie realized she had been zoning out, and Tad had been trying to carry on a conversation with her. She tried to clear her head of thoughts about Katie, but that was a futile effort. Instead, she just tried to concentrate enough so Tad didn't start to think she was completely crazy.

"Sorry Tad, I zoned out for minute there. What were you saying?"

"Got Singer on the brain?" Tad asked, with a knowing smile.

"I...uh, what?"

"Chill Jessie, the deer in the headlights look really doesn't work for you," Tad laughed. "I'm her best friend! She's like my sister! The minute I saw her this morning I knew something had changed for the better. She hasn't smiled that much or looked that at ease in years. And then you showed up, and it took all of two minutes for me to figure out what was going on."

Jessie relaxed, and felt a smile return to her face. "So you're okay with it?" she asked tentatively.

"Okay with it? Are you kidding me? Jessie I'm ecstatic! For the past two years I've watched her walk around this school with a mask on. Sure she's the most popular girl in school, but there was something missing. Ever since you showed up here, Katie's spark has been back. She's still the bright, hyper and crazy Katie everyone knows and loves, but now it's for real. Jessie I may be in love with you for making Katie this happy."

Jessie felt her cheeks growing hot, but at the same time felt her eyes sting a little bit. To hear Tad say those things made Jessie feel amazing. She knew Tad truly cared for Katie. Even after the short time she had known him; Jessie could tell Tad would do anything to protect Katie. To hear him say he was happy for the two of them made Jessie want to jump up and down with excitement. But there was another worry on Jessie's mind.

"What about the rest of the people here? Would they be okay with it?"

Tad looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. "Does it matter?" he asked.

Jessie sat, waiting for more, and then she realized that was all he was going to say. And she realized that he was right. Who cared what the rest of the school population, ninety-five percent of which Jessie didn't even know, thought?

"You're right Tad. It doesn't matter, not at all."

Tad beamed at her, but then his expression changed to serious. He finished the last bite of his sandwich, and then leaned forward, folding his arms and resting his elbows on the table. Jessie was suddenly nervous. Tad suddenly looked like the cops on TV when beginning an interrogation. Jessie nervously took a sip of her pop, wondering what was suddenly wrong.

"I like you Jessie. But like I said before, Katie's like my sister. So I'm required to say this. She's been through a lot. I've seen her fall and almost hit rock bottom. And no, I'm not going to tell you about what's caused it, that's for Katie to do. And she probably will, soon I'm sure. Anyway Jessie, the point is, she's a lot more fragile than people think. And even though I really do like you, if you hurt her I will step in, and you'll have me to answer to. So I need you to make me a promise." He paused, and smiled a little bit at Jessie. "Please promise me you'll do everything you possibly can not to hurt Katie."

Jessie felt the nervousness leave her. She found it incredible that Katie had such a strong bond with Tad. And she knew that this was one promise she'd have no trouble whatsoever keeping. "I promise Tad. I will never, ever hurt Katie."

They both hear the sincerity in Jessie's voice, and Tad reached across the table to give Jessie a quick but meaningful hug.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

**Author's Note: **First off, I hope everyone had an awesome St Patrick's Day like I did. I don't really know if it's as prominent for everyone as it is for an Irish dancer like me, but still...hope you all had fun. Second, the Leafs playoff hopes are still alive! Yay! And third, I do, admittedly have a fascination with the word 'llama'. I don't know why. It's just fun to say. Anyhoo, here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy!

XxXxXxXxXx

With October now approaching, there was a slight chill in the air. Jessie had gone from waking up to warmth and sunlight to waking up to dark skies and damp air. However there was nothing; not the weather nor her step sister, which could dampen Jessie's spirits as she sat beside her girlfriend on their way home from school.

Jessie had been startled back into the reality of school with upcoming tests in three of her classes. She had been having so much fun not paying attention to the lessons with Katie that she had completely forgotten that there was an actual point to school. So Jessie had begged her girlfriend to come over this upcoming weekend to help her study. Though Katie had initially joked about how failing would teach Jessie a very important life lesson, there hadn't been much opposition to the suggestion. Spending time together was too great of an opportunity to waste, no matter what the circumstances.

The two chatted nonstop in the back seat, laughing crazily at each other's jokes. Jessie could practically hear Grace's teeth grinding together up front, but she didn't care. In fact, Grace's annoyance somewhat thrilled Jessie. She knew Grace hated bright, bubbly people, and felt this was somewhat adequate payback for all the near-death car rides.

When they arrived at the Sammler residence, Grace stormed out of the car and up to the front door immediately. Jessie took advantage of their sudden privacy and pulled Katie in for a quick but much-needed kiss.

"I've been waiting for days to be able to that," Jessie said, leaning her forehead against Katie's. Though they rarely spent a moment apart at school, they had agreed to keep their relationship between themselves for the time being. Jessie was content to postpone coming out as long as possible, but she did find the lack of kissing time slightly aggravating.

"Well in that case..." Katie trailed off, and captured Jessie's lips once again. The kiss started off soft, but quickly grew more heated. Jessie's hands moved from her girlfriend's cheeks to instead wrap around her, pulling her as close as possible. Katie's were tangled in Jessie's hair. Jessie loved every second of it, and felt a not unpleasant fluttering sensation build inside of her. She wanted to continue this forever, but knew the back of Grace's car wasn't exactly an ideal location. With as much willpower as she could muster, Jessie pulled back from Katie. She laughed as she saw her girlfriend's pout.

"Sorry, but Grace might come looking for us."

"I got the impression she was actually glad to be rid of us," Katie huffed, still pouting.

Jessie chuckled as they exited the car, and they walked hand in hand up to the house. Stopping at the door, Jessie turned to Katie and grasped the straps of her backpack, pulling her in for one more kiss. She knew the neighbour's could have seen, but found she really didn't care. What could she say? Her girlfriend was kind of irresistible.

XxXxXxXxXx

Late that night, long after studying had been abandoned, Jessie and Katie were embroiled in a fierce game of Monopoly. Normally, this new 'family' tradition irked Jessie. Back when her parents were still together, Jessie could count on one hand the number of times her dad had sat down to play a family board game. But ever since her dad had married Lily, this had become a weekly ritual. Jessie usually just went through the motions, never immersing herself in the spirit of the game. Tonight, however, was different.

Tonight was different because Katie was sitting beside her. Even though Lily, her dad and her stepsisters Grace and Zoe were there, Jessie was actually laughing and having a genuine good time. The same competitiveness which caused Katie to drill an opponent's head to win at dodge ball, or take the skin off her leg while doing a slide tackle to save the winning goal in soccer caused Katie to buy and manage properties with a fiery ruthlessness. She currently owned over half the board, had a multitude of hotels and her thoroughly unorganized money was in a pile which loomed over everyone else's.

As much as it amused Jessie to watch Katie's reactions and mannerisms, she was also mesmerised by simply looking at her. They had changed into their pyjamas long ago, and it wasn't Katie's ever present long sleeve shirt which was catching her attention, but her shorts. As in _shorts. _As in an article of clothing which barely contained enough material to classify as shorts. Jessie had caught herself staring at Katie's legs numerous times. They were toned and tanned and simply gorgeous. She wondered briefly if it was normal to fall for someone's legs.

Jessie was in a heap of trouble at the moment, however. She had landed on Park Place, which of course Katie owned. As if that wasn't bad enough, Katie had built a hotel on it.

"I believe that would be $1500 you now owe me Jessie," Katie happily sang out.

Jessie looked down and her money and calculated that amount to be exactly $900 more than she currently had. She also only owned two properties, and if she would have to mortgage both of them if she wanted to stay in the game.

"You better pay up, Jessie," said her dad, Rick, his amusement evident in his tone.

Jessie knew her dad had immediately been enamoured by Katie, much like she had been. His invitation to call him Rick after talking to her for only five minutes had been proof of that. In fact, Jessie could tell that Katie had the entire household under her spell, with the possible exception of the always ornery Grace. But Jessie really didn't care about them. Her main concern lay with her dad, and his acceptance of Katie had made her positively giddy with happiness. But she wasn't feeling too giddy at the moment.

"Can't we make a deal?" Jessie asked. She watched Katie laugh and shake her head. "How about, uh, $500 and a get out of jail free card?" Jessie asked desperately.

"Really Jess? Fifty bucks to get out of jail is pocket change to me. You're going to have to do better than that."

"Tell you girls what," Rick piped in. "I have to go call Eli, and remind him to be home in the next hour. Jess, you have until I get back to try and convince Katie to make a deal." He smirked as he stood up and left the room, clearly thinking Jessie was going to be the first to lose.

Zoe took the opportunity to race to the washroom, clearly needing relief from the five coke cans she had drained already. Lily went to make more popcorn, and Grace slouched off, which Jessie presumed was to get away from the two of them.

Jessie turned to Katie, fully prepared to use her puppy dog eyes. One look at the mixture of mischief and combativeness in Katie's eyes told her it wasn't going to be enough. But looking around at the empty living room, Jessie got an idea. It could help her stay in the game, but also provide her with some fun along the way.

Jessie scooted closer to Katie, their legs touching. She reached out a hand and laid it on Katie's bare thigh. She saw Katie gulp, and permitted herself a small smile as she moved her lips up beside her ear.

"Katie," she whispered, and then with a stroke of inspiration tickled Katie's ear with the tip of her tongue. Katie gasped, and Jessie felt her shift a little bit. "Please Katie, do this for me." Jessie backed away enough to look Katie in the eyes, and realized she had gone too far. This had gone from Jessie trying to stay alive in a game of Monopoly, to needing her dad and the rest of them to never return. Katie's eyes were dark, and she reached across and placed her hand on Jessie's waist, on the bare skin where her shirt rode up. Jessie gasped as Katie caressed her skin, and they leaned into each other, inching ever so close. Their lips were nearly touching, and Jessie felt a burning inside of her. She had never felt anything like this before.

The sound of a mighty crash from out in the hallway brought the two out of their own little world. Realizing her dad would be walking in at any moment, Jessie straightened and pushed away from Katie. They separated just in time, as Lily and Rick walked in from the kitchen and Zoe came from the other direction, rubbing her knee. Zoe's clumsiness had both saved them from impending doom and robbed them of what they now desperately wanted.

"So Katie, what's the verdict?" Rick asked, as Grace reappeared.

For a moment, Jessie thought she would survive. Katie was in a daze and struggled for a moment to fine words. Then she gave her head a little shake and shot Jessie an evil smirk. "No deal Jess. Now pay up."

XxXxXxXxXx

Jessie woke up the following morning feeling unbelievably content. A smile grew on her face as she realized the reason for this. A pair of arms was wrapped tight around her, and Jessie loved the feel of being held so close. Jessie turned around to catch a glimpse of her sleeping girlfriend, but was instead greeted by Katie's stunning blue eyes gazing into her own.

"Good morning," said Katie softly, smiling at her.

"Good morning to you too," Jessie replied. They shared a tender kiss, and then lay there for a moment in a comfortable silence, Jessie still in Katie's arms. "How long have you been awake?"

Katie shrugged, smiling contentedly. "A while."

"I hope you haven't been bored."

"Nope, not bored at all. I had an excellent view to keep me entertained."

"Katie have you been watching me sleep?" Jessie asked, with mock incredulity. Katie nodded and Jessie laughed. "You creeper."

Katie shrugged again, and nuzzled Jessie's neck, placing a light kiss there. "You wouldn't have it any other way."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

Katie brought and hand up and brushed some of Jessie's hair back out of her eyes. "You look cute with bed head." Jessie rolled her eyes and Katie stroked her cheek gently. Jessie should've known the moment was much too peaceful and calm for Katie. She had a split second warning when a glint of mischief appeared in Katie's eye, and then the next thing Jessie knew she was under attack. Katie was tickling her sides with no mercy and Jessie gasped and struggled to get away. But Katie manoeuvred herself partially on top of Jessie, effectively trapping her.

"Katie, please stop!" Jessie managed with difficulty, tears of laughter stinging her eyes.

"Say the magic word," Katie commanded, still tickling Jessie with ferocity.

"Please!"

A puzzled look came across Katie's face. "No," she said with a tone which clearly said Jessie should've known that was not the correct answer.

Katie's momentary confusion had caused her to forget about torturing Jessie, which cleared Jessie's head enough to remember a distant conversation about Katie's favourite and therefore 'magic' word. "Llama!" Jessie shouted.

Katie nodded happily and stopped, which allowed Jessie to drag in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She had no idea why Katie's favourite word was 'llama', but at the moment she was quite grateful towards the furry animals. Katie rolled off Jessie, but left her arm draped over her stomach. Jessie happened to look down, and saw that Katie's sleeve had ridden up in the excitement.

"Katie," Jessie started, looking down with growing horror at what she was seeing. "Katie, what the hell is this?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

**Author's Note: **I wasn't planning on having another chapter out this quickly, but I really needed to get this one out. As a warning, it gets pretty intense, and I apologize if I make anyone upset or uncomfortable. But I don't apologize for writing it. Like I've said before, this story is my own, and this chapter especially is hugely personal. Even though it's not a particularly pleasant chapter to read, I hope you stick with it, and with the story. Thank you to those who have read up to this point, and thank you in advance to those who will continue on.

And if you've never heard it, I recommend listening to 'I Won't Let Go' by Rascall Flatts. It's an amazing song.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

_Katie rolled off Jessie, but left her arm draped over her stomach. Jessie happened to look down, and saw that Katie's sleeve had ridden up in the excitement._

_ "Katie," Jessie started, looking down with growing horror at what she was seeing. "Katie, what the hell is this?"_

Jessie stared at Katie's exposed arm, and the fears which she had been pushing to the back of her mind for so many days were now confirmed. The tears of laughter which had taken up residence in her eyes only a few short moments ago now turned to tears of fear and sorrow. Jessie finally realized why Katie constantly wore long sleeves, why she never changed in the change room with the rest of their gym class and what Tad had meant by wanting to check. It all now came together, in the sobering visual of scars on the underside of Katie's arm.

There were dozens of scars on Katie's wrist, continuing all the way up to where her sleeve began. Jessie was willing to bet she would find more if she rolled the sleeve up further, and wondered if her girlfriend's other arm would look similar. Some scars were prominently pink while others were faded to a thin white line. The ones right at her wrist were thin and ordered in neatly arranged lines. But as they progressed up Katie's arm they were more jagged and in no order. With an increasing feeling of nausea, Jessie realized it looked as if those ones were made by Katie simply hacking at her arm with whatever sharp instrument she could find.

Jessie was so focused on Katie's arm, she didn't notice her girlfriend's eyes travel along Jessie's line of sight. She didn't notice Katie's face crumple in grief.

"Katie," Jessie whispered, her voice breaking. The signs had all been there but to see this with her own eyes and for it all to be confirmed broke Jessie's heart.

Jessie raised her hand and touched her fingertips lightly to the faintest scars on Katie's wrist. The contact stirred Katie from her sorrow-filled inaction, and she jerked her arm away. For the first time since her discovery, Jessie's gaze connected with Katie's, and she instantly felt the increased gravity of the situation. Tears had begun to stream down Katie's face, and her eyes were filled with pain. She lowered her gaze from Jessie's eyes and turned her back on Jessie, moving to the opposite edge of the bed. Her shoulders were hunched and shook, and Jessie knew she trying her best to hold in the tears.

Sitting up, Jessie tentatively crawled to were Katie sat and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Katie cried, and stood up, moving swiftly to stand by the attic's lone window. Jessie didn't know what to do or how to react. Was Katie mad at her? Did she feel like Jessie had intruded on one of her most private secrets? Or was this reaction out of another emotion?

Jessie stayed where she was on the bed, deciding to give Katie some space. "Katie it's okay," Jessie said, and then immediately regretted her choice of words when Katie wheeled around to face her.

"It's okay? Seriously Jessie? What's okay? Is it okay that your girlfriend is a suicidal coward? Is it okay that I would sit and watch the blood flow? Is it okay that the pain of ripping my arms apart was better than the pain I was feeling inside my own mind?" Katie stalked over to stand in front of Jessie and yanked both of her sleeves up as far as they would go. "Is this okay, Jessie?"

Seeing the full extent of the damage made Jessie feel sick. There was hardly any space on either of Katie's arms where the skin had been left unbroken. The cuts on the left arm, which Jessie was just now seeing for the first time, were more visible and looked much more recent.

"This is not okay Jessie! Who does this to themselves? This isn't okay, I'm not okay!" Once again Katie turned her back on Jessie and looked out the window. "And you weren't supposed to find out like this. Actually you weren't supposed to find out at all. Who wants a girlfriend who has tried to kill herself?" Katie's voice, which had been bordering on hysterical, was now hushed and raw, and filled with pain. "No one in their right mind would want to be with me."

Standing up on slightly shaky legs, Jessie walked slowly up to Katie. She reached out and took her hand, and expected Katie to yank it away on her again. But instead, Katie spun around, threw her arms around Jessie and began to sob uncontrollably into her shoulder. Jessie held Katie tightly, trying to convey the comfort which she was unable to form into words. After a few minutes, Katie's crying lessened slightly, and Jessie thought that perhaps the worst was over. But then Katie began to hyperventilate, and Jessie felt her knees began to weaken due to the fact she was now supporting most of Katie's weight. She lowered them slowly to the ground until they were both sitting, and continued to hold Katie.

Eventually Katie managed to calm down, and she looked up at Jessie with puffy, bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry Jess, I should probably get going."

Katie tried to stand, but Jessie held her arms to keep her sitting beside her. Jessie was not good with words. She was not good in situations which required her to comfort another person. But she was damned well going to try to comfort Katie now. She didn't know exactly what to say or do, but she knew that she couldn't let her girlfriend leave with talking about this.

"Katie, you're not going anywhere."

"I'm broken Jess. I'm a broken person. You don't want someone like me around."

"Katie, you're not broken and you're not going anywhere."

"How can you possibly want to be around someone who does this?" Katie inquired, indicating her ravaged arms.

"Look who you're talking to Katie! I used to be anorexic! When I first blurted that out to you, I thought for sure you would turn and run. But you didn't! And I'm not going to run either!" Jessie looked straight into Katie's eyes, and made sure Katie would be able to see how much Jessie meant her next words. "I don't care that you've done this to yourself. Actually, that's not entirely true. I care that you've felt like you had no options, and that this was your only choice. I care that you've been in this much pain. I don't care that you cut yourself, I only care about what caused it, and I want to make sure it never happens to you again."

Without giving Katie a chance to respond, Jessie leaned in and captured her lips. At first Katie didn't respond, but when she did it was a kiss like none other they had ever shared. It was filled with raw emotion and need. It was tender and compassionate, yet fiery and unrestrained. After what felt like days they broke apart, and Jessie pressed her lips to Katie's forehead before pulling back.

"Katie I'm not going to run away, but I do want you to talk. It doesn't have to be today, it doesn't even have to be this week. But I'm begging you to let me in at some point. I want to help you."

Katie was silent for a few moments, and then said, "What did I ever do to deserve you?" Jessie felt her cheeks grow a little hot, and didn't know what to say. But Katie broke the silence in her typical fashion. "Can we make a blanket fort?"

"Can we...what?" Jessie was utterly baffled that Katie would choose to respond in this way.

"I will talk Jessie, and I'll start today. But," she paused, and a shy smile crept across her lips. "When we were younger Tad and I would always build blanket forts when we wanted to talk. It made us feel like no one could ever hear us. And even now, if the world gets too tough, we'll build forts and talk in them all night. It makes me feel safe."

Jessie smiled. "Then let's make the best blanket fort you've ever seen."

For the next fifteen minutes they worked, and though they worked in silence it was a comfortable one. When it was finished, the two girls laid down side by side in their own little world. Katie was on her back, staring up at the patterns on the blanket above her, and Jessie lay on her side, her head propped up on her arm, watching her girlfriend and waiting patiently for her to make the first move.

"The first time I cut was last summer," Katie started, speaking softly. "My parents had just left on a trip, like always, and I was in the house all alone. I knew well enough by then that I didn't fit in with my family. When I was a kid I was always getting in trouble for breaking rules...or furniture. As I got a little bit older I began to realize that when my parents would yell at me it was partially due to frustration and partially to disappointment in who I was turning out to be. My parents rarely talked to me, and my brothers were so much older than me I never fit in with them either.

"So there I was last summer, sitting in my room thinking about how alone I felt. And I started to cry. But crying didn't help. I needed something more. Without really thinking I walked into the washroom, and opened the cupboard, finding the razors. And when I drew the blade across my skin it hurt like a bitch, but at the same time felt really good. It was oddly comforting to me. I told myself I'd never do it again, but that promise didn't last for long.

"Two weeks later, I was in the living watching the news with my parents, and a story about homosexuality came on. By that point in time I was pretty sure I was gay. I mean, I had never actually had a crush on a guy, and the only I guy I've ever kissed left something to be desired. That was the first time I really took notice of the fact that my dad was a blatant homophobe. And when I went upstairs a few minutes later, I cut again. After that, it started becoming an almost daily routine."

Katie stopped talking, and absentmindedly brushed her fingers back and forth over the faint scars on her right wrist. Jessie was still watching her, shocked into silence, tears streaming silently down her face.

"Things started getting worse around Christmas. I met this girl. Her name was Sara. We hit it off pretty much right away." At this, Jessie tensed a little bit, and Grace's words came back into her head. "I should've known she was trouble right away. Tad never liked her. And she never could make me smile like you can. But still, I kind of liked her. She was the first girl I ever kissed. And for a few weeks, it was really nice.

"But then she started showing her true colours. She was a year older, and a year more experienced, as she always reminded me. She told me to stop hanging out with Tad so much. I think she was a little jealous of him. And then she started pressuring me to sleep with her. I kept refusing, and she kept pushing. One night it got heated, and when she tried to force me I slapped her. It was a gut reaction. Anyway, she freaked out on me, telling me I was a worthless piece of crap who would never amount to anything. She had found out about the cutting kind of like you did, and said I was a coward and just a broken little kid. So I walk into school the next day pretty upset, only to discover it's all over school about how I'm gay and had played Sara and broke her heat.

"I went to washroom, and wanted to cut but didn't have a blade. So I pulled a pair of scissors out of my bag." The fingers which had been roving her wrist tailed up her arm, to the bigger, jagged scars. "I discovered I liked scissors better. It took longer to make a cut. It took more effort. I couldn't just swipe a blade across and be done, I had to hack at my arm, and I liked it better. When I was cutting, nothing else mattered. I couldn't remember about my family, Sara or what people were saying about me. After that, I would only cut with scissors."

Jessie was still laying silently, at a loss for words. She thought she had it bad with the anorexia. But hearing Katie's story made her heart ache. She wanted to gather Katie up in her arms and hold her forever, hiding her from the world.

"What made you stop?" Jessie asked, finally finding her voice.

"Tad," Katie said, smiling. "He found out when I came to lunch one day with blood soaking through my sleeve. He was pretty angry with me at first, and scared too. But he swore he was going to help me stop if it was the last thing he ever did. Stopping was easy at all. I still felt alone, and like a disappointment. I was also becoming addicted to cutting. It became a habit for me, something I needed to do. But Tad wouldn't let me give up. He stood by my side every day, and was there whenever I needed someone to talk to, even if it was in the wee hours of the morning. And we did it. The last time I cut was the end of April."

Jessie reached across the small gap between them and took Katie's hand. She squeezed it, but didn't feel Katie respond.

"People let me down Jess. My entire life, the people I should be able to depend on have let me down. I have trust issues, and I still feel alone. I still want to cut, but I don't." Katie turned her head to look Jessie straight in her eyes. "I'm a mess Jessie. I'm a messed up person. How can you want to be with me?"

"That's pretty easy to answer Katie. I want to be with you because you are the most amazing person I've ever met. You're smart and funny and so incredibly beautiful. You make me smile, and you make me feel safe and wanted. And so you're messed up. So am I. So is the world. We'll work it out together Katie. But I'm not going to leave you. I'm going to stand by you through whatever happens. Whenever you need me, I'll be here. I'm going to hold you, and I won't let go."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **Hello. I apologize very, very, VERY much for the delay of getting this chapter up. I was super busy with school, and then was busy winning a couple badminton tournaments and then I got quite sick, which was quite unpleasant. And apparently, it's easier for me to write angst and drama rather than not. Ah well, here it is now. Thank you to everyone who has read so far, and thank you very much to those who have reviewed it means alot to hear what people think. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

XxXxXxXxXx

For the next weeks following the emotional morning in Jessie's attic bedroom, the two girls were basically inseparable. At first, even Jessie had to admit this to herself, she was a little overbearing.

After Katie's confessions, Jessie couldn't help but constantly worry about her girlfriend. She made sure she was constantly by Katie's side, and couldn't seem to stop her eyes flickering to Katie's wrists to make sure there was no further damage. She'd practically beg for them to hang out and do something after school, and was very reluctant to leave after. It wasn't until Katie blew up at her that Jessie realized she was being rather annoying.

"Jess honestly this needs to stop!" Katie yelled at her one day after school. "Look, I love that you care, besides Tad nobody has cared this much for me in years. I find it sweet and it makes me feel safe. But you have to stop looking at me like I'm on my death bed! I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. I love spending time with you, and I'll spend every second of every day with you if you want, but I'm not going to do it if it's just so you can keep an eye on me!"

After that, the girls had reached an agreement. Jessie said she didn't like to see Katie alone so often, which at first Katie had balked at. But Jessie appealed to Tad, and he said the same thing. So it was decided that whenever Katie's parents were out of town (which had thus far been pretty much a solid two weeks) Katie would either stay with Jessie or Tad, or one of them would stay with her. Katie was a bit sulky at first, but after the fun and sometimes unbelievable situations they got themselves into, she had to admit to herself that no matter what the reasons behind it were, spending so much time with Jessie and Tad was awesome.

Jessie and Katie had spent the previous weekend at Jessie's moms. At first Jessie was worried that her mom wouldn't like that Katie was cutting into the already limited mother-daughter time they had. But of course, she underestimated the Singer charm. After about ten minutes, Katie had Karen wrapped around her little finger, and Jessie was thrilled to see her accepted as a new member of the family.

This stay also was Katie's first encounter with Eli. Jessie couldn't decide whether she was amused or annoyed at her older brother. Half the time Eli was in the same room as Katie he stared, and the other half he flirted, or at least tried to flirt, shamelessly. More often than not, however, he just set himself up for one of Katie's famous one-liners.

It was now a Friday afternoon, and Jessie was practically dying of laughter while watching Katie dominate the soccer field. October had now arrived, and though the air was crisp and cool, Katie was bathed in sweat. She was technically playing striker, but seemed to be everywhere at all times. She had already scored twice, making a mockery of poor Jessie, who had been stuck on defence where her teammates thought she would do the least damage. But Jessie didn't really mind, watching Katie's ridiculous goal celebrations and listening to her trash talk their classmates was causing her to double over with a stitch in her side.

Jessie noticed Katie was storming down the wing again, and noticed a familiar competitive gleam in her girlfriend's eye. That look ignited something in Jessie, and she was determined to stop Katie at least one time.

As Katie approached, she feinted to her left and then did a scissor step, crossing her foot over the ball to the right. But Jessie stood her ground, feet planted firmly, though not too far apart, as Katie had already 'nutmegged' her once. Katie gave Jessie an evil smile, and then put on a burst of speed. Jessie was caught off guard and stumbled backwards, but regained her footing and gave chase. She lunged with no skill whatsoever, but managed to steal the ball from Katie. Jessie was shocked, and stood frozen with the ball at her feet for a moment. Then a rush of adrenaline coursed through her, and filled with glee she launched her foot at the ball in a monster of kick, far more powerful than anything Jessie had ever managed to do previously. Jessie watched with pride as the ball rose into the air and then...smacked right into Katie's face.

It collided with the side of Katie's face, and made a sound more appropriate for a ton of bricks hitting concrete than a ball hitting flesh. Jessie watched horror-struck as Katie was thrown off her feet by the force of the collision, and then lay on the ground face down with her head in her hands, shaking.

_Oh my God, _Jessie thought as she rushed to her girlfriend's side. _She must really be in pain! What if I killed her?_

Jessie reached Katie's side and dropped to her knees, grabbing Katie's shoulders to turn her over. "Oh God, Katie are you okay? I'm so sorry! Do we need a doctor?" Jessie succeeded in flipping Katie over, and tugged her hands down from her face, only to discover than her girlfriend was indeed dying...of laughter.

"Jess!" Katie managed to wheeze out between loud guffaws. "That was incredible! How the hell did you kick that hard?" Jessie's look of incredulity must have only amused Katie further, because she succumbed to more laughter, and began to roll around.

By this time the rest of the class as well as the teacher had gathered round, and giggles started to break out among the crowd. Jessie was still staring at Katie in disbelief, as the red mark on her face suggested brain damage at the least. But everyone else seemed to simply find it funny, and as they were dismissed a minute later, they were still laughing as they walked back into the school.

Jessie paused outside the change room as the rest of the girls went inside, knowing she'd have a minute alone with Katie before she went to the privacy of the washroom. She tugged Katie's arm gently to get her to turn around, and Jessie lightly stroked the soccer ball imprint which now adorned her girlfriend's face.

"Katie I'm so sorry," Jessie whispered, still upset at what she managed to do, no matter how funny Katie thought it was.

"Jess, don't worry about it, honestly I'm impressed." But Jessie still looked upset, so Katie gathered her in her arms in a gentle hug. "Jess, please don't worry about it. I'm fine! And I was being a cocky ass, so really, I kind of deserved it." Jessie smiled slightly as she felt Katie place a kiss on her neck, and then shivered as Katie's breath tickled her ear. "Besides, I do love falling for you."

XxXxXxXxXx

Jessie and Katie walked with Tad to his friend's car after school, and Katie was already bouncing with excitement. Russell had managed to snag tickets for the Blackhawks' home opener, and Katie was thrilled. She had already changed into a red Blackhawks jersey and was chatting enthusiastically to Jessie about how this was surely their year for the Cup. Having never been a hockey fan herself, Jessie just nodded, thinking how cute her girlfriend was.

As they began their drive to Chicago, Russell and Tad sat up front and Jessie and Katie sat in the backseat, having fun playing I-spy. It was only when Katie said she spied an ugly thing that looked like the back end of an elephant, which turned out to be Tad, that the boys put an end to that giggle fest. Russell then asked Katie why she had drawn a soccer ball on her face with red marker, which made Jessie's face burn and Katie breakdown into a renewed fit of laughter.

"Oh man, you guys should have seen it!" Katie laughed. "Jessie was all determined to stop me, she had this adorable little scowl on her face. And then she did, and was so happy she launched this huge kick right at my face. It was incredible! I never knew she could kick that hard."

"It wasn't funny," Jessie grumbled. "I could've killed her." The car erupted in laughter at Jessie's disgruntled tone, and even Jessie allowed herself a smile when she felt a warm hand take her own and squeeze it.

The rest of the ride was spent with Tad and Katie having a singing showdown to AC-DC, which in the end Katie won with a perfect air guitar accompaniment to Highway to Hell.

They found a parking garage, and when the boys went to pay, Katie turned to face Jessie. "You're still upset about that kick aren't you?"

"Katie, look at your face. Just look at it! You have a soccer ball on there. Like you can see the panels! It must have hurt like hell!"

"It stung a little but Jess, really I'm fine." Jessie still didn't look convinced, and Katie sighed. "What will it take to convince that I really am fine?" she asked, and Jessie just shrugged. She turned to look out the window, and missed the mischievous grin which crossed Katie's face. Jessie then started as she felt Katie swing a leg over Jessie's, straddling her. Katie cupped Jessie's face in her hands, and whispered, "Trust me Jessie, I'm fine."

And then Katie's lips were on hers, and Jessie forgot all about her embarrassment and her worry for Katie's health and focused only on the amazing feeling of Katie's lips on her own. Jessie moaned as their tongues caressed, and a burning started building in her stomach, and began to move down lower. Katie's hands tangled in Jessie's hair, and Jessie grabbed Katie's hips and pulled them in towards her own, needing to feel friction. Jessie may have never felt anything like this before, but knew exactly what these feelings meant; _she wanted Katie. _

"Katie," Jessie breathed out as her girlfriend moved to kissing her neck. Jessie started squirming in seat, needing to be closer to Katie. She pulled Katie's face back up to hers, and started kissing Katie with even more passion.

"Oh my God, that is so freaking hot!" Russell's statement from outside the window brought Jessie and Katie back to reality, and Katie quickly jumped off Jessie, hitting her head on the roof as she did so. The girls quickly exited, and fixed their hair and straightened their clothes as they came to stand before the boys. Tad was obviously trying very hard not to laugh at the situation, and Russell also appeared to be struggling to control himself, though not from laughter.

"Yo I knew you guys were together! Hell I told everybody and they didn't believe me! Tad I told you!" Russell exclaimed, punching Tad's shoulder.

"Russell, buddy, I already knew." Tad laughed at the frown on Russell's face. "I'm Katie's best friend! How could I not!"

Jessie watched this exchange with embarrassment, feeling her face on fire.

"Okay, seriously though, why don't you guys just tell everyone?" Russell asked. "The whole school has been saying it for weeks. People have some serious money down on you two."

"What?" Jessie exclaimed. Her thoughts immediately turned to Grace, and knew that she probably started the rumours herself.

"Nobody cares! In fact, most people think it's hot, me included," Russell said.

"Yeah, I think we can tell Russell," Katie said airily, indicating a bulge in his pants. Russell immediately shifted so the sweater he had draped over his arm covered his situation.

"Really though, just tell. You guys would be the new golden couple!" Russell continued his encouragement as they walked around, trying to find a place to eat before they went to the game. They settled on a pizzeria, figuring it wouldn't be overly expensive.

"Look, Russ, I'm sure it will get out eventually," Katie said, shrugging her shoulders, as they entered the restaurant. "But until it does you can't tell anyone, understand?" Russell nodded under the threat of Katie's glare.

Jessie felt her heart sink at Katie's words. She seemed to not want the truth about them to get out. Was Katie embarrassed that Jessie was her girlfriend? Why didn't she want anyone to know? Jessie didn't really want her parents to know right away, but she was getting tired of hiding their relationship at school. Didn't Katie want the same?

"Hey, Jess, what's wrong?" Katie's voice brought her out of her reverie, and Jessie noticed the boys had gone to order. Jessie just shrugged, but Katie intertwined their hands under the table and said, "Jessie I can tell something's up. What is it?"

"Are you embarrassed by me?" Jessie hadn't meant to put it so bluntly, but it just came out. She watched as Katie's expression changed from surprise to confusion.

"Why would you think that?"

"You don't want anyone to know about us."

A look of comprehension dawned on Katie's face, and after a moment she smiled and squeezed Jessie's hand. "Jess, it's not like that. You don't embarrass me."

"Then why don't you want people to know?"

Katie sighed. "Jess look at my family. They hate gays. Being homosexual sickens them. It's what I've been brought up to believe, and I may be strong enough to fight it so I can be myself, but I can't make myself stop believing that everyone's like them." Katie's face was now saddened, and it was Jessie's turn to squeeze her hand reassuringly.

"I'm sure there will be some people like that. But you heard Russell. Most people think it already. The people who care don't matter, and the people who matter don't care. People like Tad and Russell. And Katie, I'm not talking about telling our families, not yet. Especially yours. But I want to be able to kiss you at school. I want the guys to know they aren't allowed to flirt with you anymore because you're mine. And I want the whole school to be jealous of me because I'm the one who belongs to Katie Singer."

Katie smiled slightly. "Jess I want that too. Believe me I do. But I just don't know how to handle it."

"Neither do I, Katie. We'll figure it out together. But we don't have to tell if you don't want to."

Katie took a deep breath. "No I want to. But only when we're ready. Or, I guess when I'm ready. Is that okay?" Jessie smiled and nodded, and they leaned together for a quick kiss. Katie then started to smirk. "Just wait 'till everyone finds out it was my _girlfriend _who gave me this lovely design on my face. They'll have a field day with that one."


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **Hey! By my clock I have two hours left to say this, so Happy Star Wars day everyone! May the fourth be with you! Sorry, I'm a nerd. And sorry for the long-ish wait, I had university prep to do. I scored 50% on the calculus placement exam! But hey, it's not like I'm gonna be a math major, so I was proud. I just got my third concussion in a year, so if this chapter makes no sense, I blame the goal post and the brain damage. Thanks to all my reviewers and readers, hope this chapter is okay!

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

XxXxXxXxXx

Much to her surprise, Jessie actually enjoyed watching the hockey game. Most of it was probably due to the fact that she was with Katie, and Katie could bring a smile to her face no matter what the situation.

When they got into the arena, the first thing Katie did was drag them all to the nearest gift shop so she could buy Jessie a Blackhawks t-shirt. The same competitiveness Katie exhibited on the soccer field quickly shone through when they passed the first Coyotes fan. After that, the other three had to keep a close eye on the exuberant teen, and Tad and Russell had to physically drag her away from the 300-pound man she had been taunting who looked like he could've eaten her. Jessie was impressed at how quickly she had caught onto the rules of the game, though she could not for the life of her grasp the concept of offsides or interference penalties. When the final buzzer went, the Hawks had won 3-0, and the four friends left the arena chatting animatedly about the game.

Russell dropped them all off at Jessie's house. Tad had chosen to stay the night with teenage girls who acted like kids rather than kids who acted like teenage girls at his sister's birthday party. Rick and Lily had waited up for the arrival, and Rick came out to meet them in the hallway.

"So, how was the game?" he asked, slightly hesitant, knowing his daughter's low tolerance for most sports.

"It was actually really fun!" Jessie exclaimed truthfully, ignoring Katie and Tad who began to tease Jessie about how they told her so.

"I'm glad," Rick said, genuinely pleased Jessie had found such great friends and fit in with them so well. "Well, we're going to go to bed, we just wanted to see you guys before we turned in." He paused, and thought for a minute about how to phrase what he wanted to say next. "Um, Tad is going to...I mean he's not...your bed...I just..."

"Oh don't worry Mr Sammler, Tad knows he's sleeping on the floor," Katie jumped in, rescuing the awkward looking man.

"Oh right, good. Well then, good night." With that he turned around and headed upstairs.

Katie began giggling and Jessie just rolled her eyes at her goofy girlfriend. As they headed upstairs as well, Jessie thought she heard Tad mumble about something being 'ironic'.

Ten minutes later Jessie and Katie were lying in bed, with Katie snuggled up into the shorter girl's back. They had just finished making up Tad's bed, and were highly anticipating his reaction to it. Just as Jessie felt herself beginning to fall asleep in her girlfriend's arms, she heard the sound of Tad coming up the stairs.

"Alright girls, shove over," he said, making his way over to them.

"Oh no Tad, we promised Jessie's dad there would be no boys in this bed," Katie said, snickering. "But don't worry, we took it upon ourselves to make sure you had a good place to sleep tonight." Katie pointed to the pile of spare blankets and pillows they had thrown on the ground in a nest like pattern.

Tad looked from the pile of blankets to the girls and back in growing dismay. "But, I thought that was just to make him happy! I need to sleep in a bed or my back goes wonky! And honestly, we all know you two are like the only girls on the planet I wouldn't try anything with!"

Katie shrugged. "Sorry Tad," she said, then place a soft kiss on Jessie's cheek. Jessie shivered as Katie whispered goodnight in her ear.

Tad kicked at the messy pile, and bunched it all up to try and make it more comfortable. Before Jessie drifted off into a peaceful sleep, the last thing she heard Tad's disgruntled voice saying, "If only they knew. How ironic is this that for once it's not the guy trying to steal the daughter's innocence?"

When Jessie woke up, it was in Katie's arms, with her head lying on her girlfriend's chest. She loved waking up like this, and happily stayed still for a few moments, listening to Katie's heart beat. When Jessie decided to raise her head, she discovered that Katie was already awake, smiling down at her.

"Good morning," came the soft greeting from her girlfriend.

"Good morning," Jessie smiled back, moving up for a quick kiss. "How long have you been awake?"

"Mmm, only a few minutes," Katie whispered, kissing up Jessie's jaw line to ear, which she playfully tugged at with her teeth. "I was watching you sleep."

"Creeper," Jessie said in mock annoyance, ruining the effect by smiling.

"Whatever, it's not like you never do it when you're the first one awake." Jessie chose not to reply, and just lay there, enjoyed the peaceful and caring nature of the moment. "I was also doing some thinking." Katie's tone had become slightly hesitant, and maybe a touch worried. Jessie pulled back and sat up slightly so she could look at Katie, questioning her with her eyes. "It's nothing bad," Katie said quickly, seeing Jessie's expression. "I just was thinking about what you said yesterday and, I think we should tell everyone on Monday."

Jessie sat there shocked for a moment, and then another smile began to creep onto her face. "Really?"

"Well yeah. I mean, you're right; the people who matter to us aren't going to care one bit. And if they do care then obviously they're not worth knowing anymore. Besides, with the whole debacle last year it's not like half the school doesn't already suspect I'm gay. And I know I'll be freaking out Monday as I'm too tired to right now, but I really think it's time, so I'm just going to deal with it."

When Katie paused for a second to take a breath in the middle of her ramble, Jessie quickly leaned in for a kiss. When they parted, Jessie said, "I'm so proud of you. And we'll be okay, I promise." Even as Jessie was saying it, a small part of her couldn't help but stand back and look down upon herself in incredulity. Jessie had always been concerned with fitting in, and not drawing unwanted attention to herself. But with Katie, she didn't care about what the rest of the world thought. She only cared about the two of them being together.

"I'm sure there'll be some people who are dicks, and I don't want to walk into school with a neon sign saying 'Hey Katie Singer and Jessie Sammler are gay' either. I just want to be able to hold you and kiss you in the morning at the locker, and I really want to make everybody else in the school jealous."

"Then that's what we'll do," Jessie said happily as she lay her head back down on Katie's shoulder, and the two girls sat there for a few minutes, smiling lazily and enjoying each other's company. But the calm was broken when a thought suddenly struck Jessie. She bolted upright, already in a panic.

"Jess, what is it, what's wrong?" Katie asked anxiously, looking up at her girlfriend.

"Grace!" Jessie practically shouted. Katie looked up at her in confusion, and Tad emitted a muffled grunt from beneath the pile of covers which now completely buried every part of him except for a single foot.

"Um, Jess, I'm Katie and if you think I'm Grace then that's kind of creepy, not gonna lie."

"No! No, not that!" Jessie exclaimed shaking her head. "Grace is like the queen of gossip! As soon as she hears about us she's going to tell dad and Lily!" Jessie could tell Katie was not overly shaken by this revelation. "What's the matter with you, we have to do something!"

Katie groaned and tried to bury her head beneath the pillows. "Jess, it's too early for stressing. It's seven in the morning. I don't do freak outs at seven in the morning."

Jessie began to grow frustrated with Katie, and decided that actions would work better than words, and grabbed her girlfriend's hand tightly, yanking her up and off the bed. Before Katie could get her bearings, Jessie was dragging her down the stairs from the attic and toward Grace's room. Katie finally managed to grasp the situation and grabbed Jessie by the shoulders before she could open Grace's door.

"Jess, what are you doing? We can't just burst into Grace's room and demand that...wait what are we demanding?"

"I don't know, we just have to do something to head her off and convince her to keep her mouth shut!" And without further ado, Jessie opened the door, thrust Katie inside and slammed the door behind them before shouting at her step sister to wake up.

Grace woke with a start, and her appearance was the first thing which derailed Jessie. Her hair stuck up in every direction possibly, her eyes were pink and puffy with sleep, and she wore an expression which was the epitome of a deer in headlights. Katie began to giggle, and Jessie elbowed her in the ribs, trying to prevent her from pissing Grace off entirely.

"Jessie! Katie! What the hell are you doing in my room? And what the hell time is it?"

"See, I told you it was too early for freakouts," Katie whispered in Jessie's ear. But Katie could clearly see Jessie's plan did not extend past waking Grace up, so she sighed and decided to help her girlfriend out. "Grace, we have to talk to you about something really important. We would've waited until later, but we really need to clear the air on this."

Grace groaned and flung out her hand to her bedside table looking for a hair brush. When she located it she attempted to tame her hair. "Okay fine. What is so majorly important."

Katie looked to Jessie, but she was clearly still not with the program. Katie knew it was all up to her, and decided that just jumping right into it was the easiest and fastest way to get this done. "Jessie and I are dating and we really need you to not tell Rick or Lily, or anyone in the family until we're ready to." Hearing Katie's abrupt admission caught Jessie's attention, and she looked at Grace waiting for the reaction of both disgust and triumphant glee at having such news to gossip about.

"You seriously had to wake me up before noon to tell me something I already knew?" Seeing their looks of confusion Grace decided to elaborate. "I've been forced to see you guys together for two solid weeks now. And maybe people at school don't notice it, but the hand holding, cuddling and sneaky kisses are kind of obvious. To me at least, because I'm always there when it happens. I'm pretty sure Mom, Rick and Zoe are oblivious to it."

"Oh. Well, you won't tell them will you?" Jessie asked tentatively.

"What makes you think I would tell them?"

"You're the biggest gossip I've ever met."

Grace's face became a thundercloud. "I am not! For your information, Becky is the biggest gossip, not me, and I have much more important things to talk about than my step sister!" Grace sighed. "Sorry that was a little much. But true." She paused and looked at Katie. "What the hell happened to your face?"

Jessie turned, and for the first time took notice. The red soccer ball impression was now turning black and blue as well. The darker colours only made the shape more noticeable and unmistakable. Jessie gasped, and felt so ashamed at the fact she caused that. At the sight of her expression, Katie and Grace both broke into identical fits of laughter, and Jessie's concern changed to annoyance. "Come on," she grumbled, once more pulling Katie by the hand. Jessie paused at the door. "Thanks Grace," she said grudgingly before she led Katie away. They reached the attic, and Katie collapsed on the bed still laughing uncontrollably.

"I think Grace and I just bonded."

"Shut up Katie! I still feel really bad that I hurt you!"

Katie managed to calm herself down, and pulled Jessie into a tight hug. "And I've told you a million times already it's fine! It doesn't hurt at all! Okay?" Jessie nodded, and Katie leaned in for a kiss. "But look at this, we're good to go! Grace won't tell. That's good right?"

Jessie nodded happily but then began to frown when Katie stood and started packing up her things. "What are you doing?"

"My parents are back today, remember?" Katie sighed. "I have to go home." Katie's body language clearly stated she did not want to, and Jessie was even less thrilled at the thought.

"You'll be okay right?" Jessie asked worriedly. "And you'll call if you need to talk?" Katie nodded, and Jessie was glad that even though they wouldn't see each other until Monday, her girlfriend knew she was there for her.

Katie paused from her packing, and Jessie recognized the grin on her face. "I think we need to wake up Tad."

Knowing exactly what her girlfriend's plan was, Jessie took Katie's hand and the two shared a smile before jumping on and squashing the mound of blankets which was Tad. There was a startled yelp, and then a tirade of profanity as Tad attempted to both shove the girls off him and unravel himself from his cocoon at the same time. He finally emerged, looking sulky and thoroughly annoyed.

"Awe, Tad you look almost as good as Grace in the morning!" Katie laughed. Tad flipped her off and began to crawl back into his covers. "Oh no you don't Prince Charming, you've got to walk me home."

Half an hour later, Jessie watched from her front porch as Katie and Tad walked down the street. This was the first time since Katie's confession that she would be staying with her parents and not either Jessie or Tad. As the two grew smaller and smaller in the distance, Jessie grew increasingly uneasy. She had never felt this protective over anyone before. Jessie didn't want to see Katie in any situation where she wasn't one hundred percent happy. She wished she could protect Katie from everything and everyone who ever made her sad. Jessie wished she could give Katie the world. And it was in that moment, watching as her girlfriend faded from view, that Jessie first realized she was completely, undeniably in love with Katie Singer.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **This is a fairly fast update for being the procrastinator that I am. I guess it helps that I'm putting off homework. I also got a laptop (finally!) and want to break it in. And I wanted to get a chapter up before my birthday on Monday...turning 19 is kind of a big deal with us Canucks, and I plan on taking full advantage of being, legally, able to drink. Hope the chapter's good Thanks for reading!

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

XxXxXxXxXx

It had been a long and fairly boring weekend for Jessie. She had become so used to having Katie around that nothing seemed to ease her loneliness or boredom. Grace took pity on Jessie and let her come bowling with herself and Zoe, but that only occupied her for a while. After that, it was back to being 'sulky and depressed' as Grace so eloquently put it.

Jessie hated the thought of Katie being stuck in a house with parents who so obviously had no time for their youngest child. She knew Katie had probably spent the weekend holed up in her room, reading one of the many books she had. All in all, Jessie was quite excited when Monday finally arrived, even if it meant quite possibly becoming the talk of the school. She could hardly stay still in her seat, and didn't even take notice of Grace's driving.

Jessie didn't realize just how much she had missed Katie until she saw her and Tad at her locker. A huge smile broke out on Jessie's face at the sight of her girlfriend, and she ran up and threw her arms around her from behind. Katie relaxed into the hug after the initial shock, and greeted her girlfriend with, "Hey Jess. I missed you so much this weekend."

Jessie wanted nothing more than to kiss her girlfriend in greeting, but thought she should double check first that this was still what Katie wanted. So she released her hold on the taller girl. "I missed you too." As had happened many times before, the girls quickly found themselves in their own little world, gazing into each other's eyes. Their moment was broken by a pointed cough.

"Didn't anybody miss me this weekend?" Tad asked, grinning.

"Don't flatter yourself Tad, you're not that important," Katie said, and Jessie laughed at Tad's pout.

"Don't worry Tad, I missed you."

"Awe thanks Jessie, you're my favourite!" Tad laughed as he danced away from the swat Katie aimed at him. "So, are you guys going for this or what?"

Jessie knew exactly what he was referring to, and hesitated, looking at Katie for her answer. Katie simply smiled. "Of course we are. But you really can't expect me to miss out on making fun of you, can you Tad?"

"You've been making fun of me all morning," Tad pouted again.

"You've been asking for it all morning," Katie replied. Then she turned to Jessie. "So how come I didn't get a good morning kiss from you?" Katie asked, putting on a pout of her own.

Jessie smiled, and instead of answering, gently tugged the front of Katie's sweater, pulling her in for a short but sweet kiss. Jessie went to pull away, but felt Katie's hand on the back of her neck, holding her in place. They kissed again, this time for little bit longer, and when they separated they rested their foreheads against each other's. They shared a smile, both trying to look confident and cool, but secretly trying to prep themselves for the fallout. With a sigh, Katie placed a soft kiss on Jessie's forehead, and then pulled back. The first thing Jessie saw was Tad grinning widely at the pair.

"You guys are famous."

Jessie looked around the hallway, and felt herself blushing as she realized every single pair of eyes was turned toward them. She didn't know how to react, and was seriously considering bolting for the washroom when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her shoulders.

"Don't worry Jessie, we got this under control," Katie whispered in her ear, and Jessie immediately felt herself relax at her girlfriend's touch. She could feel Katie's heart pounding and knew she was not as in control as she was pretending to be, but the fact that she was trying made Jessie's heart swell. Gradually people turned away from them, and the normal buzz of talking once again filled the air. Jessie thought she saw some anger and disgust in some eyes, but before she could dwell too much on it Katie spoke again. "So Tad, how much money did you just make?"

Tad grinned evilly, rubbing his hands together. "Brent and Josh both owe me twenty, and I get fifty from some stupid freshmen on the football team."

"Wait, Tad you bet on us?" Jessie asked incredulously while Katie laughed. "But you already knew...isn't that kind of like cheating?"

"It ain't cheating if you don't get caught," Tad replied, shrugging indifferently. "Besides I need the money." The bell rang, and Tad put his arms around both girls, drawing them into a group hug. "I'll see you two at lunch. And if anybody gets on your case, give them hell and give me their names."

Jessie reached over and grasped Katie's hand as they began walking to their English class. She saw the look on Katie's face, and could tell that she was trying very hard not to freak out. Jessie felt slightly guilty, and squeezed Katie's hand reassuringly. Katie looked over and smiled, though her eyes were still troubled.

"Katie are you okay? I'm really sorry; we didn't have to do this."

"Jess, honestly quit apologizing for everything! And I'm fine. Really. I'm glad we're not going to have to hide here anymore. It's just that I've spent my entire life surrounded by negativity on this subject, and it's a little hard not to worry." She pressed a kiss to Jessie's temple. "But I'm really happy. Jessie, you make me really happy."

Jessie was somewhat surprised at the reaction of their morning display. The entire school seemed to know about within an hour or two, but she hadn't run into anybody who had a problem with it yet. Russell seemed to have known what he was talking about when he said they'd be the new golden couple. Wherever they went they were followed by glances and hushed chatter, and Jessie had never received so much attention before. Already the head cheerleader had invited her and Katie to a party. Tad treated them to lunch with his winnings, and Russell came to congratulate with his friend Josh, who wasted no time in inquiring about a threesome.

It wasn't until last period when things started to take a turn towards sour. Jessie entered the change room after parting ways with Katie, and made her way to her usual area of the room. As soon as she put her bag down, the girl who usually changed beside her got up and moved to the other side of the room. Jessie tried to brush it off, until she heard hushed whispers coming from that general direction.

"I guess this is why Kate never changes in here."

"Yeah, I wish she would take the hint too, she's going to make everything so awkward!"

"She could be checking us out. Maybe she's been doing it this whole time! It's so creepy!"

Cheeks burning and tears stinging her eyes, Jessie quickly finished changing and exited the change room. She should have expected this. Of course there were going to be people who would hate them and say it was wrong. Jessie knew she should have prepared herself better for this kind of reaction, but it really stung. Entering the gymnasium, Jessie couldn't help but give a small, watery chuckle when she saw her girlfriend. Katie was following Mr Cassius around, badgering him nonstop about how basketball was boring and how floor hockey would be a much more suitable activity for today. She was in the middle of listing the benefits of the increased cardiovascular exercise floor hockey would provide when she spotted Jessie. Katie's smile was huge, but as she drew closer and saw the look on Jessie's face her expression changed to one of concern.

"Jessie what's wrong?" Katie queried as she approached.

"Nothing's wrong," Jessie said, trying to dismiss the matter so Katie wouldn't get upset.

"Okay, who said what?"

Jessie's eyes were trained on the ground. She wished what she overheard hadn't affected her, but it did, and it really hurt. She took a deep, shaky breath in, and felt Katie's arms wrap around her, pulling her close. She leaned into her girlfriend, breathing in her scent to try and feel better.

"Jess, this is why I didn't want to do this." Jessie tensed, preparing herself for the lecture on how they should've waited to reveal their relationship. But it didn't come. Katie just led her to a quiet corner in the gym, behind the bleachers and away from the rest of the class who were now filtering in. "There are always going to be people who hate, people who discriminate and people who want to tear us down just because we're different. My own parents are living proof of that. And I don't want to lie and say that I'm cool and dealing with all of this, because I'm definitely not.

"But Jess, we've got each other. And the whispers are probably going to follow us wherever we go. It happened to me last year. But the difference between then and now is that I've got you. And as long as I get to be with you, I think I can handle what the people here have to say. It hurts when people say stuff, I got that in physics. Just know that I won't leave you no matter what they say. And if anybody says anything to you when I'm not around, just come find me. We'll get through it all together."

Jessie couldn't help as a smile spread across her face. She knew Katie had every reason to be scared of coming out. But as Katie stood there pushing her own fears aside to calm her, Jessie once again realized the inevitable. She looked up at Katie, gazing straight into her eyes.

"I love you," Jessie whispered. She felt a flutter of panic as the words left her lips. What if Katie didn't love her back yet? Perhaps it was too soon to bring up these kinds of feelings. At the same time however, she felt somewhat serene. Jessie knew that no matter what she felt or said, Katie would be there for her.

Katie's eyes widened a slight bit at the admission, but then she simply smiled, and leaned down to connect their lips in a short but passionate kiss.

"I love you too Jessie."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: ** Yay I finally finished it! Guess all I needed was the proper motivation...I mean, either an essay on John Locke or another chapter for all of you great people reading my story...it was a pretty easy call. So this chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I had planned on...I just got started and couldn't stop. Oh, and nothing against Kelly Buchberger, he was a great hardworking player, but he was never a Leaf and always a pain in my ass. And how about those Canucks eh? One game away from the Stanley Cup Finals! I'm so excited! I'll go back to hating them next year right now they're the last Canadian team standing so GO CANUCKS! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Thank you to everyone who has been reading, I can tell there's a bunch of you and it really does mean a lot so thank you thank you thank you! And maybe you could review? A few kind words? Or not kind words, I'm not picky. Hope you enjoy!

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

XxXxXxXx

Jessie had come to the conclusion that high school was a very fickle form of society. She had expected the fallout of her and Katie's 'announcement' to last a couple weeks at least. But within two days the school had already found its next piece of juicy gossip and spared their relationship no further thought. Some things had changed though; Jessie no longer used the change rooms for gym, and she was a lot more popular than she had ever expected to be. But essentially, high school was gossip central, and as soon as the vultures became bored with one scandal they moved right onto the next one.

"Did you hear? Grace just told Allison who told Russell who told me that Mr Cassius is having a creepy affair with a student!" Jessie rolled her eyes at Tad as he sat down with her at their lunch table. She was starting to realize that Tad was right up there with Grace at the top of the gossip-queen ladder. "I'm serious! It's all over school." Jessie just nodded absently, pretending she was listening to Tad while keeping her eyes glued on the cafeteria entrance for the appearance of her girlfriend, who was once again in trouble for her antics in math. Just as she was starting to worry that she might actually have to join in on the conversation, the doors opened and Katie walked in.

Katie made her way over to them and gave Jessie a quick peck on the cheek as she sat down beside her. "Tad did you hear about Cassius?" Jessie tried hard to stifle a groan. Maybe Katie belonged with Tad and Grace too.

The rest of the lunch was spent playing president, which Jessie had never played prior to this week, which was horrifying news to Tad and Katie. Jessie had never much liked card games, but as with everything the Katie Singer charm made it exciting. After a mind-numbingly boring geography lesson, Jessie met up with Katie at the bathroom outside the gym hallway. Even though it still stung Jessie that she had been basically shunned out of the change room, this routine did have a few perks; namely a quick makeout session before joining the rest of their class.

Much to Jessie's surprise, they had a sub teaching them instead of Mr Cassius. "Told you," Katie whispered, nudging Jessie playfully in the ribs.

"And how do you know he isn't just sick?"

"Oh come on Jess, the entire school has it on good authority that he is totally in trouble with the cops for doing a student."

"Who's authority?" Jessie asked, and smirked at her girlfriend's slightly puzzled expression.

"It doesn't matter it's still totally true," Katie responded after a second before quickly changing the topic. "So my parents left for another trip last night, can I spend some time with you?"

"Your parents left last night?" Jessie asked, somewhat alarmed. "But Katie why didn't you come over? You shouldn't have spent the night alone!"

Katie rolled her eyes. "Jess, really we've been over this. I'm not going to run to you or Tad the second my parents leave, especially not if they leave at four in the morning."

"Oh, right, sorry Katie. But of course you can spend time with me. It's family game night tonight, and everybody's been bugging me about when you're going to come over again. Especially Eli," Jessie finished with a frown at her brother's not so subtle crush on her girlfriend.

They were still playing floor hockey, much to Jessie's dismay and Katie's delight. Jessie wasn't much better at floor hockey than she was at soccer, despite Katie's many coaching tips. Luckily they were put on the same team, hopefully preventing another soccer ball incident. The marks still hadn't completely faded.

Five minutes into the game, and Katie had already scored three goals, putting to use her 'soft hands around the net' that she constantly bragged about. Personally, Jessie thought those hands could be put to much better use, but she still laughed at her girlfriend's exaggerated goal celebrations. Katie was also a complete pest as she slashed, hooked and speared as much as that Buchberger guy on Phoenix she had complained so much about. After another five minutes, Katie had another goal and had incurred the wrath of the supply teacher, who then began giving her penalties left right and centre.

Nearing the end of the class, Katie had fourteen goals and sixteen penalty minutes. Surprisingly though, their team was losing by a goal, probably due to the fact they had stupidly chosen to put Jessie in net for a terrifying ten minutes in which eleven goals were scored. Katie was determined to tie up the game, and began running at breakneck speed down to the other teams net, the ball seemingly glued to her stick. Jessie was following, only because that's what she had seen the guys at the hockey game do. Everyone on the other team ran to Katie, who almost managed to evade them before being tripped up. From her knees, she passed the ball to Jessie, whose eyes widened in horror as she felt the ball hit the blade of her stick.

"Shoot Jessie, shoot!" Katie screamed at her. Determined to score one for her girlfriend, Jessie drew back her stick and shot exactly as she had seen Katie do so many times. She connected with the ball, and was shocked at the power she got into her shot. Jessie was not shocked at her lack of accuracy as her ball shot off to the side instead of at the net. And as fate would have it, that rocket of a shot hit Katie square in the mouth.

The next few minutes were a blur for Jessie. All she saw was red- blood- and lots of it. She was certain she had just knocked out all of Katie's perfect teeth. In her panic hazed mind, one thing did eventually register with her. Once again, Katie was oblivious to Jessie's horror, and was laughing hysterically.

Jessie sat beside Katie in the back of Grace's car as they drove home, arms folded across her chest. She was annoyed at herself. This time, she couldn't blame Katie for finding the incident hilarious. Jessie's imagination had clearly gotten the best of her, and copious amounts of blood her brain told her saw were cured with a single piece of paper towel. Katie had a small cut on the inside of her lip, not a dozen missing teeth. And Jessie had made a fool of herself by nearly fainting in panic.

"I think you and I need to work on some hockey skills. You'd be great if you could aim your shot," Katie told her laughing as they entered the Sammler house. Jessie shook her head. She never wanted to pick up a hockey stick again. She'd only succeed in making herself into even more of a laughingstock.

Jessie dragged Katie up the stairs to her attic bedroom in a rush. They hadn't seen each other outside of school in nearly a week, and Jessie was anxious to have some privacy in a place where no hockey stick or soccer ball would ever be seen. In her haste she didn't lock the door as per usual, in fact she wasn't even sure if it had closed entirely. But she really didn't care. All she cared about were Katie and her bed.

Jessie used to think kissing was kind of gross. But that was before she kissed Katie. Jessie knew she could never get tired of kissing Katie, and loved everything about it. She loved the taste of Katie, the softness of her lips and even the sensation of her girlfriend's tongue caressing her own, which was something Jessie never in a million years thought she'd enjoy. Kissing Katie was like kissing perfection.

She felt Katie's hand on her stomach beneath her shirt, and when that hand began to travel up Jessie began to squirm in her position partly underneath Katie. When Katie's hand cupped her breast, Jessie broke the kiss and gasped, never thinking anything could feel this good. Katie began kissing and nipping at Jessie's neck, and Jessie felt herself getting completely lost in the sensation. Her hips moved of their own accord and pressed up into Katie's, and it was Katie's turn to break away from Jessie, letting out a moan that thrilled Jessie. Jessie almost cried when Katie's hand ceased it's ministrations on her breast, but then she realized Katie was only moving onto better things as she grasped the bottom of Jessie's shirt and began to tug it up. Suddenly though, Jessie was nervous.

As if sensing her change in emotion, Katie sat up slightly, allowing Jessie to do the same. "Jess, you know I'd never do anything to make you nervous," Katie whispered. She pressed a soft kiss to Jessie's lips, so unlike their kisses of a few moments prior. "Do you want to stop?" Feeling incapable of words, Jessie simply shook her head. Katie's hands resumed their position on Jessie's shirt, and her eyes looked into Jessie's, asking a silent question. Jessie nodded, and Katie gently tugged the shirt up and over Jessie's head.

Jessie's nervousness seemed to double. A lifetime of insecurities about her body seemed to catch up to Jessie in that moment, and she bit her lip while she waited for Katie to say how fat she was. But instead, Katie traced her fingertips along the edges of Jessie's bra, eyes widened in apparent adoration. Jessie smiled and wasted no time in reconnecting their lips. Jessie decided that if she was sitting here with no shirt on, it was only fair for Katie to be too. This time it was her own hands doing the tugging, and she wasted no time in pulling her girlfriend's shirt completely off. She then pouted as she realized Katie was still wearing a white spaghetti strap top. Katie smirked as if knowing Jessie's disappointment.

Katie didn't remedy the situation however, but instead placed her hands on Jessie's shoulders, gently pressing her down into the soft covers of her bed. Katie began kissing her passionately, and manoeuvred herself so that her thigh was between Jessie's legs. When that thigh pressed into her centre, Jessie moaned unrestrainedly into Katie's mouth. She felt Katie smile against her lips, and then Katie began to rhythmically ground her thigh into Jessie. Jessie couldn't kiss Katie anymore as Katie's hands once again found her breasts. Between those hands and that thigh, all Jessie could do was gasp and moan as she felt an incredible amount of pleasure building up inside her body.

"Oh my God, Katie!" Jessie breathed, barely able to form words. "Katie, please, don't stop!"

"Um, how about we do stop," a voice said from the direction of the staircase. Katie jumped up and off of Jessie, missing the edge of the bed and doing a flip before crashing to the floor. At any other time, Jessie would've burst out laughing at her girlfriend, but she was filled with panic and dread as she groped frantically for her shirt, pulling it back on. Feeling her face burning insanely, Jessie stood up on shaky legs to face her doom.

Eli stood in front her, looking distinctly uncomfortable. His eyes travelled from Jessie to Katie as she picked herself up off the floor and came to stand nervously beside his sister. Eli opened his mouth many times, but couldn't seem to find any words. "Why don't we all sit down," he finally said, seeing that Jessie looked about ready to fall over. The girls sat on the end of the bed, and Eli pulled up the chair from Jessie's desk, sitting on it backwards and crossing his arms over the back of it.

"Eli..." Jessie began, but broke off, unable to continue. In all the scenarios she had ever pictured for breaking the news to her family that she was dating a girl, her brother catching them getting hot and heavy was never one of them. Her and Eli had drifted apart lately, but he was still her brother and they used to be thick as thieves. She didn't want to disappoint him, and this probably fell into that category.

"Geeze Jess, will you calm down? You look like you're ready to throw up." Jessie looked up at Eli in surprise.

"You're not mad? Or disappointed?"

"Well I'm mad, but only 'cause my little sister is getting more action than I am." His tone was light, but Jessie's eyes narrowed suspiciously at him, noting he still looked uncomfortable and weirded out. Eli sighed. "Look Jess, I came up here to ask you if you and Katie wanted to come to the Hawks game with me."

"You have Hawks tickets? How'd you get those?" Katie broke in. Jessie and Tad both shot her a look, and she blushed and mumbled an apology, remembering the seriousness of the situation.

"Anyway I came up her to ask you guys a question. Imagine my surprise to find my sister and her _best friend_ rounding second base," he said, drawing air quotations around 'best' and 'friend'. "So I'm a little shocked and stunned, but I'll get over it."

"So you don't care..." Jessie broke off once again.

"That you're dating a girl?" Eli supplied for her. Jessie nodded. "I don't care at all Jess. I mean I pay girls to make out parties. Not that I'm thinking that way with you, you're my sister!" Eli sputtered, seeing the looks the two girls were giving him. "I just meant that I don't care who kisses who, or who dates who."

Jessie let out a deep breath she had been holding, and smiled as Katie intertwined their fingers and gave Jessie's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Thanks Eli. I swear I didn't mean for you to find out this way."

"Well yeah, I kind of figured that. Your tomato face and Katie's gold medal gymnastics performance were proof of that," he said grinning. But his expression changed to being uncomfortable again, and Jessie tensed, bracing herself for whatever was going to come next. "Um, do you guys know about...like you know...this stuff? 'Cause I don't know the specifics about this obviously, I mean I'm a guy but I know guy and girl stuff and if you need to ask questions I can like...help." Eli looked scared to death at the very thought.

Jessie and Katie burst out laughing at the exact same time. Eli's expression was just too priceless for them to resist. "Don't worry about it Eli, we're not exactly that young anymore," Jessie told him, laughing again as pure relief crossed his face. "Thanks though, for the offer," she added, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

"No problem. Just out of curiosity when were you guys planning on telling, like, your parents?"

Jessie shrugged, and felt Katie do the same beside her. "We didn't exactly set a date."

"And let me guess...you want me to keep this ender wraps?"

"It would be nice?" Jessie phrased the statement as a question.

Eli nodded. "No problem. Will do. Now, just one more thing." He turned to face Katie, and she sat up a little straighter, trying to stop her giggles which were still coming from before. "Jessie's my little sister. And even though you're kinda hot, I'll let her have you because you make her happy. She's never smiled so much since meeting you, and I guess now I know the reason. And it'll kind of creep me out knowing that when you two are alone you're probably stealing my baby sister's innocence, but I'll deal." Katie blushed at the words and the memories of just a few minutes ago. "I like you Katie and I think you're good for Jessie. But if you hurt her...like if she comes home one day crying and says your name...I'm gonna have to find you and make you pay. Deal?"

"Deal," Katie nodded. "But don't worry Eli, the last thing I ever want to do is hurt Jessie," she said with complete sincerity, squeezing Jessie's hand again.

Eli smiled. "Good." He looked around, obviously looking for something else to say as an awkward silence filled the air. Jessie noticed how his eyes suddenly stopped and widened. She followed his gaze, and that's when she realized that in all the excitement, Katie hadn't had a chance to put her long sleeved shirt back on over top of the tiny top she was wearing. Which meant Katie's secret scars were on full display for Eli to see. She felt Katie's hand tighten painfully around her own, signalling to Jessie that Katie had reached the same conclusion. Jessie looked at her girlfriend, who had remained so calm through this ordeal, and saw that she was biting her bottom lip, tears in her eyes.

"Katie, don't," Jessie whispered, pulling the now shaking girl into a tight hug. She frantically signalled behind Katie's back for Eli to close his gaping mouth and calm down, hoping he would get the message. "Katie, it's fine, you're fine. Eli doesn't care, right?" She gave Eli a glare which plainly told him to speak up now.

"No!" he practically shouted, and Jessie gritted her teeth and rolled his eyes. He clearly had failed at the calming down part. "I mean, no I don't care," he said, this time much more softly. "Katie really, whatever happened is done now. You don't have to tell me about it. Well, I mean you can if you want. Like you're sort of like my sister now so you can talk to me about anything if you want. But you don't have to. It doesn't matter."

Jessie felt Katie's shaking ease, and felt it was safe to release her. She kissed Katie's forehead and asked her with her eyes if she was okay. Katie nodded and then turned to face Eli, a small smile on her face. "Maybe I will talk Eli, someday. You're a good guy, definitely a sweetheart." Eli's face flushed, probably having been called a sweetheart by someone other than his mom for the first time in his life. "Now what were you going to say about a Hawks game?"

"Oh right!" Eli exclaimed, remembering. He laughed, relieved that the tense moments were gone. "My friend snagged tickets off his uncle, but he bailed on me so now I've got two tickets that will go to waste unless you guys want to come."

"I'd love to go!" Katie happily said. "Jess, what do you think?" Jessie groaned inwardly when Katie turned on the puppy dog eyes. It seemed her and hockey were destined to see a lot of each other.

"Yeah, sounds like fun. Let's go."

"Alright, sweet, I'll meet you guys downstairs in ten." Eli stood up to leave, paused for a moment and then turned back and walked towards his sister. He embraced her in a caring hug. "Love you Jess."

"Love you too Eli. Thanks."

Eli nodded and then turned to Katie, surprising Katie by hugging her too. "Been wanting to do that for a while now," he said grinning cockily when he released her. Jessie and Katie began pelting various items off Jessie's desk at him, and he ran down the stairs and out the attic door.

"Hey," Jessie said, grasping Katie's hand and turning her to face her. "Are you okay?" Jessie was running her fingertips over the scars on Katie's wrists. She felt the raised skin under her fingers, and it hurt her to know that Katie had once felt so lost she needed to resort to such measures. But it also felt right. It felt like something Jessie had to do, almost like she was able to whisk away the bad memories and all the pain for Katie.

Katie offered her a small smile, and leaned in for a quick kiss. "I'm fine. Really. You're with me, how could I not be fine?"

Jessie smiled and embraced Katie. She knew Katie wasn't completely fine; her scars represented a private and painful tumult of memories and experiences. She knew that every time someone new found out about them it reopened that past, like ripping a scab off a healing wound. But Jessie also knew that Katie was stronger than anyone she had ever met. And Jessie knew she would never let Katie go for as long as she lived.

"Alright, let's get ready for this game. Another Blackhawks game this so awesome! Oh my goodness, Jessie, maybe tonight you can learn how to aim a slapshot!"

Jessie groaned, but inside she didn't really care. She loved everything about Katie, even her warped sense of humour about people getting hurt. And Jessie knew that Katie loved everything about her too, clumsiness included.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: **Hi all. Thanks to everyone who's been reading so far, and thank you to those who have offered their advice and kind words, it is much appreciated! Just a head's up, this chapter jumps ahead a few months. And I have to warn you guys, this chapter contains possible triggers. I wanted to add another chapter or two of fluff before getting into the serious stuff again, but I'm not in a fluffy frame of mind right now. This chapter is pretty much exactly what happened between my (ex) best friend and I. Hope it's not too rough, and thanks for sticking with me, you guys are awesome!

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

XxXxXxXxXx

October had passed and changed into November, which had rushed by with an alarming rate. The first day of December brought the first snowfall, and the snow seemed to bring with it an abundance of Christmas spirit. Everyone was cheery with the thought of school holidays only a few weeks away. As Jessie walked, shivering, through the school's parking lot, however, she wasn't feeling overly cheerful.

Jessie had quickly discovered snow and ice did nothing to improve Grace's driving, and had flat out refused to drive with her again until the roads were clear and dry. But with numbing fingers and toes, Jessie had started to wonder whether the weather was just as apt to kill her as Grace's driving, albeit more slowly. She practically sprinted the remaining distance to the school, and gratefully walked through the doors into the warmth. Jessie made her way to Katie's locker, knowing her girlfriend would be able to cure her current melancholy mood.

Jessie and Katie had barely gotten a chance to see each other outside of school over the past few weeks. Katie's parents were on an extended stay at home, and she grudgingly stayed with them. That was about to change however, as at the end of the week Katie was coming to stay with Jessie for over a month. Jessie was surprised when her dad first told her Katie's parents had actually called to check if Katie could stay with them over Christmas. She took it as a sign things were looking up, and Katie's parents were finally starting to appreciate and care more for their youngest daughter. Katie told her not to get her hopes up, and that her parents only did it to keep up appearances.

Suddenly a strong pair of arms wrapped around Jessie from behind, startling her. "Hey Jessie!" a voice rang out in her ear. She relaxed upon recognizing it as Tad's.

"Hi Tad," she grinned. She expected him to release his hold on her, but he kept his arms around her and began marching her towards Katie's locker. "Uh, Tad, what are you doing?" Jessie felt his shrug, but he didn't answer.

"Hey Katie, look what I found!" Tad shouted when they reached their destination. "It's the perfect cure for your gloominess!"

Katie looked up and smiled at Jessie, then rolled her eyes at Tad. "Hands off, loser," she said as she tugged his hands apart and engulfed Jessie in a hug of her own. Jessie melted into the embrace, having missed this feeling greatly. "It's so good to see you," Katie whispered in her ear before pressing a kiss to her cheek. "You feel cold." Jessie nodded, and burrowed herself further into the warmth as Katie began rubbing her hands up and down Jessie's arms.

"Oh yeah, it's nice to see you too Katie," came Tad's playfully annoyed voice from behind them. Katie released Jessie with an apologetic look, then gave Tad the hug he was looking for. "Awe thanks, that's better. After all, I am your hero."

Katie rolled her eyes again. "You wish."

"Okay then, I guess you don't want what I bought for you," Tad said with a shrug, before pulling a pack of Reese peanut butter cups out of his bag and waving it in front of Katie, tempting her. "Maybe I should just eat these if I'm not your hero."

Jessie's grin grew as she watched her girlfriend gaze at the chocolate with clear want in her eyes. Jessie had learned that Katie had three main weakness; Chuck Taylor's, Jessie and Reese peanut butter cups. Katie lunged for the treat, but Tad playfully moved them out of her reach.

"Did you really think it was going to be that easy?" Tad asked, laughing. Katie lunged again but Tad easily sidestepped her. "Come on Katie, you know what you have to say."

Katie huffed, evidently having played this game before. "Fine, you win. Tad, you're the most amazing guy on the planet, and you're my hero, and I will worship you for the rest of my life if you just hand over that chocolate!" Tad nodded, satisfied, and let Katie grab what she wanted. She wasted no time in tearing into the packaging, and practically inhaled the goodness within. "Mmmm, so incredibly good, thank you so much Tad!" She paused, and offered one to Jessie with a sort of grimace on her face. Jessie shook her head, laughing, as she knew how much it would pain Katie to part with her most guilty pleasure.

The three friends made small talk, which consisted mainly of making fun of Tad, until the bell rang a few minutes later. At that point, Katie linked their hands together as they made their way to English. Katie was talking a mile a minute about all the stuff she was planning for them to do over the holidays, evidently experiencing the beginnings of a sugar rush. Jessie was always amazed how quickly and profoundly sugar seemed to impact her girlfriend. She fully expected her to be bouncing off the walls midway through first period.

As class began, Jessie was surprised to see Katie pull out her binder and begin taking notes, listening intently to Mr Dimitri. Jessie had assumed she would be far too hyper to pay attention today. Jessie focused on her own note taking, which frankly was quite boring.

After a few minutes, Jessie felt a gentle poke from beside her. She looked over at Katie, who motioned with her pencil to a tic-tac-toe board she had drawn on her paper. Grinning, Jessie filled in an 'x' in one of the corner boxes. Katie wasted no time in taking the middle square. Jessie frowned at her girlfriend's smug smile, knowing Katie had most likely just condemned them to another cat's game. Earlier in the year, Jessie could never beat Katie at this game. Katie eventually took pity on her, and taught her the secrets to both winning and preventing the opposition from winning. Although Jessie was quite thrilled to have learned to key to the game, it got a little boring when the majority of the contests ended in ties. Sure enough, ten games later there still had not been a winner, and Katie giggled silently at Jessie's refusal to play another match.

They both went back to their note taking. As had become natural for her, Jessie lifted her spare hand over to Katie's wrist. It had become kind of their 'thing' for Jessie to soothingly graze her fingertips up and down over the scars on Katie's wrists. It was calming to both girls, almost as if Jessie could rub away the bad memories and the pain. Her fingers were almost touching Katie when she reached up to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear, pulling her wrist away from Jessie's reach. Katie kept writing, and Jessie shrugged it off.

Five minutes later, however, Katie's right hand had not returned to its usual position upon the desk, and was instead situated on her lap. Jessie found this odd, as Katie would usually end up resting her head on her arm when she wrote. Jessie reached over and began tracing patterns on Katie's upturned palm. She watched as a small smile crept onto Katie's face. After a moment, Jessie trailed her fingers up Katie's arm, and began pushing aside the sleeve as per their new custom. This time Katie wasn't as smooth with her withdrawal of her arm, and simply jerked it away, before awkwardly reaching in her pencil case for an eraser for an imaginary mistake.

Suspicions began to creep into Jessie's mind; suspicions which were all but confirmed a minute or two later when Katie bent down to tie her shoe. Jessie had a difficult time sitting still for the rest of the class, and thoughts were running rampant through her head. She prayed that she was wrong, but an uneasy feeling had settled in her gut. When the bell rang, Jessie grabbed Katie's hand and pulled them in the opposite direction of their next class.

"Uh, Jess where are we going?" Katie asked in confusion.

Jessie didn't answer, just determinedly led them to the old first floor bathroom, which was nearly always empty. Sure enough, when they arrived a quick check proved it was indeed deserted.

"Jess, there's a bathroom right beside our math class. If you had to go that bad we could've gone to that one. We're going to be late!"

"Math can wait," Jessie said her voice quiet. Now that they were here, Jessie didn't know what to do. She was so sure she was right, but she didn't want to be. If she was right, Jessie wouldn't know how to handle it, and if she was wrong it would not only be embarrassing, but also probably end in a fight. Jessie thought her emotions were probably playing across her face like a movie, and knew she was right when Katie pulled her into a comforting hug.

"What is it Jessie, what's wrong?" Katie asked softly. "You can tell me anything. You know I'm always here for you."

Hearing those words, Jessie made up her mind. Here was Katie, comforting her, and if Jessie suspected correctly, then Katie pushing aside her own pain for Jessie. Jessie knew she had to check; that she had to do this if she cared as much Katie as Katie did for her. She placed her hands on Katie's shoulders and gently pushed her back, separating them. Katie looked at her questioningly, and Jessie bent her head, breaking eye contact and trying to build up the courage to ask what she needed to. Swallowing hard, Jessie raised her head and looked Katie straight in the eye.

"Show me your wrists," Jessie said with a voice much stronger than she expected it to be. Her worst fears were confirmed when Katie froze and the colour drained from her face.

Katie opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She tried again. "What?" One word was all she could manage.

"You pulled away from me today. You never pull away from me. I want to see your wrists."

"This is ridiculous Jessie, I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do," Jessie said firmly, refusing to let the fear in Katie's eyes derail her. "Show me your wrists." Katie did nothing; she just stood there, staring at Jessie. "Katie, show me your wrists." Katie's eyes glazed over with tears, and Jessie felt her resolve wavering, but tried to remain strong. "Katie, please." This time, her voice was barely above a whisper, but it did the trick.

A single tear making its way down her face, Katie lowered her gaze and slowly pulled up her right sleeve. Relief and horror flooded Jessie in equal parts. Relief because it wasn't as bad as Jessie expected. Horror because there, two inches up Katie's wrist, was a jagged, fresh cut.

Jessie stood frozen, staring at what Katie had revealed to her. It was only one cut. But it was bad. It was long and deep, and though it wasn't bleeding at the moment, Jessie could tell it was threatening to. Jessie could also tell that no razor had done this damage, but a blade much less sharp and precise. An image of Katie hunched over in her bathroom, hacking away at her arm with a pair of scissors filled Jessie's vision, and she staggered, grabbing onto the edges of a sink as she felt bile rising in her throat. She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. Jessie leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the mirror, forcing the images from her head. She needed to be strong. Once she felt like she was in control of herself again, Jessie turned to face her girlfriend.

Katie hadn't moved. She still stood rooted to the spot, head bowed and one hand on her sleeve. Jessie could see her shoulders shaking, and she made her way over to her, gathering Katie into a tight hug. But Katie just stood stiff and didn't reciprocate, so Jessie backed away a step.

"Katie," she tried, and was appalled by how hoarse her voice sounded. That wasn't bound to calm Katie down any. "Katie, look at me. Look at me please." Katie didn't respond, so Jessie placed two fingers under her chin and gently tilted Katie's head up. Katie's eyes were a mask of pain, and Jessie wondered if she hadn't just made things worse. "Katie, I need you to answer something, but you don't have to say anything, just nod or shake your head okay? Is this the only one?" Katie silently nodded her head, and Jessie felt better. It was just the one.

Jessie took Katie's hand, and led them over to the corner, lowering them until they sat side by side on the ground.

"You must hate me for doing this," Katie whispered.

"Why would I hate you?"

"Because I screwed up. And you weren't supposed to find out."

"Katie, I love you. I don't know if there's much you could do to make me hate you. Unless you dumped me for Tad. That might do it," Jessie joked, hoping to lighten the mood a little bit, and was rewarded with a small upturning at the corners of Katie's mouth. But tears were still running down Katie's face. "Katie, right now I'm scared and a little bit angry but I don't hate you. Can you answer something for me though?" Katie nodded. "What made you cut?"

Katie was silent for a moment, and Jessie wondered if she was going to answer her. "I've been at my house with my real family for so long now, but I've never felt more alone. You and Tad are more my family than my parents are. Heck, even Grace is more like family."

"Katie, you know you can come over anytime. You don't have to even ask."

"I know I just...I guess I just always hope that because they're my family it'll get better. And I know that no matter what I do love them, and I always hope that they feel the same. So I always go back, and I always stay, because one day I know it will feel like a family again. One day I know they're going to love me again. At least, that's what I hope." Katie paused and took a deep breath. "But this weekend there was just too much. There was too much silence and too much time to think. And now I've broke so many promises. One stupid moment of weakness and now I broke promises I made to you, and Tad, and myself. I was stupid, and now you guys are going to hate me!" Katie began crying again.

Jessie put her arm around Katie's shoulder and drew her in close. "I'm not going to lie, Katie, it hurts me that you did this. But it was a stupid choice. We all make them. There are still days when I won't eat anything. And afterwards I feel stupid and ashamed, but it's okay because I know I'm not going back down that road again. And I don't want to ever see one cut or ten cuts on your arms, but as long as you can promise me you're not going to go back to that dark place you were in last year we can move on. I might be a little overly protective again, but we can move on. Okay? Can you promise me that if you ever feel like you're heading down the wrong road again you'll talk to me, and we can work it out together?"

"Okay," Katie nodded, and though it was only one word, it rang out with sincerity. Jessie wasn't completely appeased, but she knew it was the best she was going to get, and hoped it would be enough.

"I love you," Jessie said, offering her girlfriend a smile.

Katie returned the gesture and whispered, "I love you," back. Katie then leaned in and the two girls shared a kiss. Jessie could taste the salty tears on Katie's lips, and hoped that she wouldn't have to shed too many more because of her.

"Do you want to go to math? We can stay here the whole period if you want," Jessie offered.

"No I'm good, just give me a minute." Jessie nodded, and rubbed soothing circles on Katie's back. "Jessie, can you not tell Tad about this? He'll just get really worried and freak out, and there's no reason for it. It was a mistake, and I'm not going to do it again."

In an instant whatever comfort Jessie had felt was gone. If Katie didn't want Tad knowing, that meant that it could be worse than she was letting on. Jessie knew that Tad had more experience in this, and she wondered if he would know something she didn't. Did Katie just not want to worry Tad for no reason, or was she worried he'd be able to read more into the situation? Jessie knew Katie was waiting for an answer, but she didn't know which one to give. "Yeah. Don't worry, I won't tell Tad."

Katie smiled at her, and they shared one more kiss before standing up and leaving the washroom, making their way towards math. For the rest of the period, Jessie couldn't focus on much of anything. She had told Katie she wouldn't tell Tad, and she didn't want to lie. But the truth was that Tad knew much more about this than she did, and he'd know not only what to do, but also whether one cut was cause for major concern or not. Plus, Jessie knew Tad loved Katie like a sister. If the situation were reversed, she'd want to know about it. She owed Tad the truth didn't she? But at the same time, she promised Katie she wouldn't tell him. Between her current dilemma and the outright concern for her girlfriend, Jessie's nerves were thin as they made their way to lunch.

Russell joined them today, for which Jessie was grateful, as it meant she wasn't required to participate as much in the conversation. Jessie couldn't concentrate what the others were saying, and she barely registered Katie's hand on her thigh, which was usually a sensation she quite enjoyed. When the bell sounded to signal the end of lunch, Jessie still hadn't made up her mind. Katie placed a chaste kiss on Jessie's lips before leaving with Russell to go to her next class. Jessie watched Tad as he packed up his stuff and prepared to leave. She bit her lip, knowing that it was time to make her decision.

"Tad, I have to tell you something..."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **Wow it's been a while! I didn't mean to take this long to update. I actually turned into a responsible student and studied for exams. I have advice for anybody in high school- DO NOT stay for an extra year. Totally horrible. Okay well that's not entirely true...It's just when you get to the end of May and you've already been accepted to university and realize that you're waking up at 6 a.m. for nothing that it becomes horrible. But I've survived, and now I have two months off, so updates should be a lot more frequent. I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but at least it's up, and I'm already working on the next chapter too! Thank you for the support! Hope you enjoy!

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

XxXxXxXxXx

"This is seriously the most annoying thing that could possibly happen!" Katie exclaimed as her and Jessie made their way to her locker as the final bell rang. "I mean, it's bad enough to have a song that you hate stuck in your head and replaying over and over. But I only know one line of this song! And that's all that's replaying! This is torture!"

Normally Jessie would be chuckling along at her girlfriend's adorable rant, but right now she could hardly focus on the words. She had a crazy amount of butterflies in her stomach, and as they turned a corner and spied Tad waiting for them, the butterflies increased.

"Hey good looking," Katie greeted him with a grin. Tad didn't return it however, and Katie noticed. "Why so glum?" Tad shrugged. "Sheesh, you really have a way with words today."

Tad caught Jessie's eye, but she looked away. She still couldn't decide if she had done the right thing, but knew she would now have to be involved in whatever was going to happen. She heard Tad sigh, and then he spoke. "Do you guys want to go grab a quick cup of coffee?"

"Tad, you know the deal with me and caffeine. We really don't mix."

"Well then we'll make yours a hot chocolate."

This time it was Katie who sighed, and it pinched Jessie's heart a bit when she noticed the now sad look on Katie's face. "What about my parents? Tad they always want me to go straight home after school, you know that."

"And they're going to be working until eight tonight; you know that." Tad sounded a little aggressive, and must've realized it himself. He ran a hand through his hair and softened his tone. "Come on Katie. Let's all hang out once more before Jessie steals you and keeps you all to herself."

With a small smile, Katie agreed. As Katie took her hand, Jessie felt a pang of guilt. Katie had no idea what was coming. They walked a few blocks to the coffee shop which was a popular after school hangout for many of their classmates. Jessie and Katie went to sit at a booth in the corner while Tad joined the line to buy their drinks.

"Jessie are you okay?" Katie asked as soon as they were sitting. "You've been really quiet since lunch. Is what happened earlier still bothering you?"

Jessie wanted to tell her yes. She wanted to scream at Katie that of course it was bothering her, and that's the reason they were here right now. Jessie wanted Katie to know how much it killed her inside to know that the person she loved so much was looking for a way out. But as she looked into Katie's eyes, she found she couldn't say a word. Instead she pulled Katie into a kiss. Katie was unresponsive at first, as Jessie had taken her by surprise. After a second Jessie felt Katie respond to the kiss. As Jessie wrapped her arms around Katie's back and pulled her in closer, she felt an overwhelming desire to just kiss Katie forever. Jessie wanted this moment to last forever. She wanted to delay what she knew was coming next for as long as possible.

"You two are giving those pathetic niner boys an early Christmas present." As Tad's rang out, Jessie reluctantly pulled away from Katie. Tad sat down across from them, and handed out the three drinks. He had gotten them all hot chocolate, and Jessie was very grateful for the warmth in her suddenly very cold and numb hands. She could feel Tad's eyes on her, and knew he was wondering if she wanted to start, but she couldn't bring her gaze up from her drink. The guilt and the anger and the fear were coming to a head in her now, and Jessie wanted to be almost anywhere else.

Tad made small talk with Katie for a few moments. Jessie felt Katie place her hand on her thigh, rubbing soothing circles. Jessie knew she was worrying Katie, and she felt another sharp stab of guilt at the fact that Katie was trying to comfort her after what she had done. There was a break in the conversation as Katie took a sip of her drink.

"Katie, show me your wrists." The statement from Tad was bold and sudden. Jessie finally looked up from her cup, and saw Katie freeze exactly as she did earlier in the day.

Katie's eyes turned to Jessie, and she saw the pleading look they held. Then Katie's eyes widened with comprehension. Jessie felt the hand on her leg stall. "You told him." Katie's voice was quiet, barely even a whisper, but Jessie could feel the hurt in it. She willed herself to stay strong, and to remember the mess of emotions which led her to tell Tad.

"Let's keep this focused," Tad said, and Jessie knew he was trying to help her out by shifting the attention away from her. "Katie I know you cut. I also know it was only once. What I don't know is whether I have to be worried about this. Is it going to be like it was last year?"

Katie withdrew her hand from Jessie and turned her gaze toward Tad. "No Tad, it's not like last year." Jessie was shocked by the sound of Katie's voice. She had never before heard Katie speak so angrily. Her voice was cold and sharp, and she saw Tad flinch slightly.

"Katie, I know you're angry right now. It's your defence; you put your walls up when you feel hurt and threatened. But watching what you went through last year..." Tad broke off, and Jessie saw his eyes were wet. Jessie had been devastated by seeing the one cut on Katie's arm. But seeing Tad's expression, she knew what she witnessed was just the tip of the iceberg. In that moment, Jessie got a little hint at what it must have been like for Tad the year prior, and couldn't imagine dealing with it.

"Tad, you're my best friend." Katie's voice had softened a little bit, and Jessie knew that seeing Tad so genuine had gotten to her. "I know you care for me like a sister, and I care for you like a brother. You are my brother. You know when I'm lying. So believe me when I say it was a stupid mistake. I got overwhelmed, and as soon as I did it I was disgusted with myself. I don't want to go back there Tad. I promise I'm not."

Tad stared at her for a long time, reading her expression. Then he nodded. "It was like July."

"It was like July," Katie replied. Jessie had no clue what that meant, but it seemed to be good, as Tad's expression cleared, and he heaved a big sigh of relief.

"I was so worried Katie, you have no idea. When Jessie told me..." he stopped and caught Jessie's eye. "I mean, when I heard...I just had all these memories of last year and how bad it was. I completely forgot this happened once before."

Jessie started to put the pieces together. Katie must have cut in July, like she did this weekend. Katie had told her she hadn't cut since last April, but maybe she didn't count one time as something to worry about.

"I'm happy right now Tad. Well, happier than I've been in a long time. This weekend was stupid. It was a mistake I promise. And I'm really sorry I worried you."

"I'm sorry I freaked. But I'm still not good with this. I know counsellors freak you out, but if this happens again you're going to one, understand?" Katie nodded. "I love you Katie. But this has to stop. If you ever feel like cutting again, come to me. Or Jess. Just don't cut." Tad paused, looking at Jessie apologetically. "I think I'm gonna get going. I'll let you guys talk."

It was when Tad stood up to leave and placed a comforting hand on Jessie's shoulder that she remembered the look of hurt and accusation she received earlier from Katie. She met Katie's eyes and saw they had hardened. Katie was looking at her with a cold gaze which matched the tone she used on Tad a few minutes ago. There was a lot of anger in that gaze, but Jessie also spied hurt. She put herself back into the mind frame she had earlier. Jessie had her reasons for telling Tad. She had to let Katie know that. She had to stand her ground.

"Why'd you tell?" Katie asked in an unexpectedly calm and quiet voice which did not match the look in her eyes.

"Tad deserved to know! You're not the only one hurting from this you know." Jessie winced at her voice, which was harder and more accusatory then she had planned.

"Jessie you promised me you wouldn't! You promised!"

"Yeah, and you promised you weren't going to cut again!"

"I really don't think this qualifies," Katie scoffed, which fuelled Jessie's mounting anger and frustration.

"You don't think it qualifies? That's nice. I do! You have no idea how much you freaked me out today! I haven't seen this before Katie! Can't you put yourself in my shoes for a minute and see how scary it is?"

"I'm sorry I freaked you out, but it's scary for me too!" Jessie knew it was childish, but she couldn't help but roll her eyes at that last comment. "Oh what, it's not supposed to be scary for me?"

"No. But it's not all about you either!" Jessie exclaimed. "You scared me today, and you hurt me a lot too. I've never dealt with this before. And then you asked me to not tell Tad, like you're trying to cover it up or something!"

"Did you ever stop to think I had my reasons for asking you not to tell him? Tad doesn't deserve this stress!"

"Oh what, and I do?" Jessie asked, stung.

"Jessie I told you it's nothing to worry about! You should have known..."

Jessie cut her off. Her anger had outweighed all her other emotions. "I should've known what? That you've relapsed before? How was I supposed to know that when you've clearly not been completely open with me?"

Katie's eyes widened with shock, but that quickly turned to anger. "I didn't tell you about July because I didn't think it mattered. But you know what, you're right. I haven't been completely open with you. I was trying to make things easier on you; I thought you had enough to deal with without knowing every single gruesome detail about your weak girlfriend.

"I cut once in July because my dad came home drunk and slapped me because I broke a plate while doing the dishes. Tad was on vacation, and I lost it. But I try not to think about that, because I'd like to think that I've healed. I'd like to focus on the positives, because this is hard enough without battling the negativity as well. What else is there? Oh yeah, about Sara. I told you she was rough with me? It was a lot more than that Jessie. There's a reason I won't let you past second base. And yeah I probably should've gone to the cops, but what for? My dad's best friend is the chief, and he's almost as big a homophobe as daddy dearest! He probably would've said I got what was coming to me! Is there anything else you want from me? Do you want to know every single detail of my miserable life?

"Jessie, you are one of the most important people in my life. I will tell you everything you ever want to know about me. But sometimes you have to trust me! You have your own demons. You shouldn't have to deal with all of mine as well! Also, how am I supposed to feel if my girlfriend knows just how damaged I am? I wanted to maintain some dignity in your eyes."

Jessie felt as if she had been punched in the gut. All of her reasons for telling Tad and all of her anger and hurt with Katie became muted. "Katie," she started, but she didn't know how to continue. On top of everything else she now felt like a horrible girlfriend. One second she was angry with Katie and the next she wanted to gather her in her arms and take her away to a place where she didn't have to deal with any of this crap. She tried to start again, but Katie cut her off.

"No Jess. This is too much right now. If we keep going we're both going to say a lot more stuff we'll regret later." The anger was gone from Katie's voice; she now sounded tired, and almost defeated.

Jessie knew she was right. They were both too fired up to each calmly state their sides. "So what does this mean?" Jessie was terrified that Katie was going to break up with her.

"It means we're each going to go home and take a day or two to cool off. We can talk about this when we're calmer and level headed." Katie stood up to leave, and then paused. She bent down and pressed a kiss to Jessie's temple. "I do love you Jessie," she whispered softly.

Jessie watched as Katie left, and then lowered her head onto the table. She was overwhelmed with everything. "I love you too Katie," she whispered to herself, hoping beyond hope that things between them would be okay.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: **Well so much for updating quickly eh? I had writer's block, and then I got caught up the Harry Potter mania. If you haven't seen the movie already, I suggest you go. I waited in line for 7 hours to see it at midnight and it was AMAZING and I cried at the end cuz now HP's over, and it's been 13 years of my life :( but like JK Rowling said, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome us home. But here's the next chapter. As always...reviews are much appreciated, as is constructive criticism. And out of curiosity, are there any supermegafoxyawesomehot Starkids out there? Here's a totally awesome shout out to you guys if you are...lemme know :).

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

XxXxXxXxXx

Somehow, Jessie had made it to Friday. Well, it was still technically Thursday night, but it was late enough that Jessie could qualify it as being Friday. It had been a long and fairly yucky week, and Jessie was glad the end was now within sight. She also had the added bonus of Katie coming over to stay in just a few short hours, assuming Katie was still coming of course.

They hadn't made much progress since the coffee shop encounter. Katie didn't show up at school on Tuesday, and then Jessie stayed home Wednesday. When Jessie arrived at school this morning she was greeted by the churning of the rumour mill which was abuzz with the news that Katie and Jessie had broken up. They sat beside each other in class as always, but an awkward silence stood between them. Katie kept her head down and took her notes without getting bored once. Tad tried to make conversation at lunch, but Katie responded with monosyllables at most, and Jessie was too preoccupied to focus on anything for a very long length of time. The only ray of hope Jessie had was when she had caught Katie's gaze in their gym class. She could be wrong, but it looked to Jessie like Katie's eyes held only embarrassment, and no anger or hate.

Jessie finished her homework to the best of her abilities and flopped down face first on her bed. Normally she enjoyed the privacy and quiet of the attic at her dad's house, but today she found herself wishing for any sort of distraction. A knock on her door provided one, but when she saw it was Grace coming up the stairs Jessie groaned into her pillow.

"What do you want Grace?" Jessie was not in the mood to deal with her step sister.

"Drop the tone Jessie; I'm here to help you."

That statement made Jessie sit up and look quizzically at Grace. "You've never helped me before. What makes you think you can help me now?"

Grace rolled her eyes at Jessie, and sat down cross legged at the end of her bed. "You and Katie are still together, right?" Of course, Jessie should've known Grace came to get more gossip from her. She nodded, sincerely hoping she was right. "I knew that was a lie. I'm brilliant. But you're still a whining, moping mess, so spill. What's going on?"

Jessie sighed, really not wanting to tell Grace anything. Eli she might have considered talking to, but he was at their mom's house right now. She picked at a loose thread on her comforter, debating whether she could trust Grace. She had kept their relationship a secret from Jessie's dad, but Jessie wasn't entirely sold on her ability to keep her mouth shut. But she really could use someone to talk to right now.

"None of this leaves this room, got it?" Grace nodded, and she seemed sincere. "I'm not going to give you any specifics, because I wouldn't do that to Katie. Basically, she broke a promise to Tad and I. It really hurt me and I told Tad, because I thought he deserved to know. I also got made because it felt like Katie was keeping secrets from me. But then I found out that Katie had a great reason for not telling Tad, and she wasn't keeping secrets from me she was...she was protecting me." Jessie felt the tears start to burn her eyes. "And now I don't know what to do. I'm still mad at her but I know I overreacted a little bit, but more than anything I just miss her. I love her."

Grace sat silently for a minute, trying to work out the situation. "Okay let me see if I've got this straight. Initially you were mad at Katie for breaking a promise and keeping something from you. But now you realize it's not how you initially thought." Jessie nodded. "If I knew what this promise was it would make this a lot easier. How badly did it hurt you?"

"A lot," Jessie whispered, a tear falling down her cheek at the memory.

"Well then don't forget that is my first piece of advice. Sometimes when you want something to work out you don't stand your ground. Remember how it felt and hold onto it. But Jessie, the most important thing is; how much do you love Katie?"

Jessie sat for a moment, trying to figure out how to phrase it without sounding cheesy or unbelievable. "More than anything. I love Katie more than anything."

"I know you hate hearing this Jessie, but I'm a year older than you and therefore have a year more experience with relationships. Don't roll your eyes at me, I'm trying to help! No relationship is perfect. There are going to be fights, and there's going to be pain. But think back Jessie. Compare how you feel right now to how you felt when you had your first kiss. Or when you two became an official couple. Even how it feels when she takes your hand. I've seen the way Katie looks at you Jessie, and you are so lucky you don't even know it! I know you're probably in hell right now, but if she makes you happy, then you'll get through it. Remember how it feels on any day that is not today. Don't give up on this. Love is messy, and it hurts and sometimes you might wish it would go curl up in a drawer and sleep for days and just leave you alone. But it's also sunshine and daisies, and smiles and a feeling so great you never want it to leave. So give Katie another chance, and she'll give you one. You guys are going to work through this Jessie, I know it. So don't give up."

XxXxXxXxXx

When Jessie got to school on Friday morning, a smile graced her face for the first time in days. Katie was at her locker, shoving a gigantic bag, which Jessie knew was filled with clothes, movies and books into her locker. Then she bent down to pick up the second one to shove it in as well. This one, however, was wider than the opening to her locker was, and midway through it got stuck. Jessie began to giggle as she watched Katie push with all might, but to no avail. Jessie walked over, swallowing her nerves.

"Need a little help with that?"

Katie never took her eyes off her bag. She could get extremely focused, and this situation was no exception. She was determined to get the bag in her locker, and nothing would distract her. "I'm good, I've got this."

Katie continued to push, and Jessie bit her lip to keep from laughing harder. Katie's wet and snowy Chuck's were sliding on the floor and her brow was furrowed as she tried with all her might to succeed. Suddenly, without warning, the bag flew in and Katie's momentum carried her forward causing her to smack her head hard off the top of her locker. Katie's stunned look pushed Jessie over the edge, and she burst out laughing, unable to contain it anymore. Katie looked at her and then she burst out laughing too. They were stumbling around, holding their stomachs, laughing like fools.

"What the hell is matter with you two?"

Through the tears in her eyes, Jessie saw Tad, and struggled to get her hysterics under control. Katie's laughs were interrupted by sporadic coughs. After several minutes, both of them managed to calm themselves down to a quiet giggle. Tad still had no idea what was going on, but she smiled and wrapped an arm around both girl's shoulders as the bell rang.

"I love you guys both. Have fun in class." Tad squeezed them playfully, and then left in the opposite direction.

Ten minutes into English, Jessie felt a familiar poke on her arm, and looked over to see Katie motioning to a game of hangman. They spent the whole period having a hangman war, and continued in their next class as well. As they made their way to lunch, Jessie knew she was smiling like a madwoman, but she didn't care. It felt like things were almost back to normal between them. In gym, their sub (Mr Cassius still hadn't returned) announced they were starting the dance unit next week and they would be playing kickball. Katie of course led her team to victory, and laughed as she watched her dominate the game. It wasn't until they began their walk home after school had ended that Jessie began to get nervous again. They were both silent, and Jessie guessed Katie was feeling much like she was. When they arrived at Jessie's, they went straight up to the attic so Katie could start to unpack her stuff. Katie had other ideas, however.

Upon reaching the top of the stairs, Katie threw her bags, not caring where they landed, and then turned around and pulled Jessie into a kiss. Jessie was shocked at first. They were fighting were they not? Jessie told her brain to shut up. It didn't have to matter why this was happening, this was the first time Jessie had felt Katie's lips upon her own in over three days. Jessie wrapped her arms around Katie and began to kiss her back, letting out a moan when Katie's tongue slipped between her lips and caressed her own. Jessie had almost forgotten just how amazing it felt to kiss Katie Singer.

They stumbled towards the bed, never losing contact with each other's lips. Jessie felt the back of her legs hit the bed, and she let herself fall backwards. Katie straddled her, and Jessie moaned again at the feeling of Katie's hips so close to her own. Forget not kissing for days, they hadn't been able to have a proper makeout session in a month. Jessie forgot completely about their fight, and focused only on her fingers, which were now on a mission to unbutton Katie's jeans. Suddenly, without warning, Katie rolled off of her, and Jessie groaned at the loss of contact. She ran her fingers through her hair trying to calm her breathing, and then looked over at Katie. Katie's face was flushed and she smiled apologetically at Jessie.

"Sorry for attacking you. It's just been way too long since we've done that, and I wanted to delay the bad stuff for as long as possible."

With that, the events of Monday came rushing back to Jessie. She would much rather continue making out with Katie, but she knew they would have to clear stuff up between them. Jessie sat up, and moved so she was leaning against the headboard. Beside her Katie did the same. Jessie remained silent, trying to think of a way to start this off.

"I'm sorry." The whisper came from beside her, and Jessie was surprised. She thought she would be the one with stuff to apologize for. "I'm so sorry Jessie. In the washroom, when you saw my wrist, I saw the fear in your eyes. I knew how you must've been feeling, but I tried to ignore it. I never wanted to be the person who made you feel like that. And then after school...I got angry. I lash out at people when I'm angry. And maybe you did deserve to know all that stuff sooner or later, but not the way I told you. I'm so sorry."

Katie began to cry, and Jessie moved closer to her and intertwined their fingers, rubbing her thumb along her hand soothingly. "Hey, come on, don't cry Katie. We both messed up that day. I was so scared when I saw your wrist. It made me sick. And then in the coffee shop...Katie I'm sorry too. I'm sorry you're put in situations where you feel like you have no way out. If I could, I'd keep you here with me and never let you go back home. I wish I'd never see anything but that smile I love so much on your face. But Katie if there's a next time, you have to come to me first. Before you pick up a blade, come to me. I don't care what time it is. Please?"

"I will Jess. I never want this to happen ever again."

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you Katie. I should've known you'd never hide anything from me if you didn't have very good reason to." Katie bent her neck and rested her head on Jessie's shoulder, and Jessie closed her eyes at the feeling. It felt so incredibly right. But there was something else she needed to ask, which had been nagging at her insides for days. "Katie, what you said on Monday...I need to know. Did you mean...were you saying...did Sara rape you?"

"I didn't want you to find out," Katie said in a very small voice.

"I'm so sorry. Oh my God, Katie I am so sorry." Tears were now rolling down Jessie's own face. She couldn't even begin to imagine.

"I was worried that if you knew, you wouldn't want to be with me. I'm damaged. But with you, I feel whole again."

Jessie used her free hand to bring Katie's lips up to meet her own. She kissed her softly. "I'm glad you told me. Now I know, and now we can work through it, and I'll go slowly with you."

Katie's eyes widened in alarm. "Not that slowly. I mean, I'm still a teenager and you're still my really hot girlfriend and it's going to take some time yeah, but I mean don't go like Seven Year Itch slow on me." Jessie laughed quietly at her girlfriend's reaction and kissed her again.

"Just come to me Katie, whenever you feel like you want to go back to that dark place again. Promise?"

"I promise," Katie said with conviction. "And you'll trust me that I'll tell you anything you ever need to know about me when I'm ready to?"

"I do trust you. I promise." They kissed again, and when they parted Katie engulfed Jessie in a tight hug. She knew things weren't perfect between them yet, but she knew they would be. They'd work it out. Jessie was sure of it. "You know, we could start that whole working through it thing now, if you wanted to." Jessie knew it probably wasn't the greatest idea, but she couldn't help but suggest it. Like Katie had said, she was still a teenager, and she did have a smoking hot girlfriend.

"I love you and the way you think," Katie chuckled. "But if I'm not mistaken, tonight is family game night, and if you think I'm going to pass up the opportunity to cream you guys at Clue or Sorry or something, you're seriously mistaken."


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: **I feel so disappointed in myself. I had set a personal goal of seven days for this chapter. Whoops. I think this time I'm going to set a goal of two months, and then when I finish before that I can feel proud of myself. Although, I did start another story in there, so I can't be too upset with myself. It's over in the Glee section and it's called 'Ain't it Fabuolous' if you want to check it out. I'd really appreciate it if you did. Yes I do shamelessly promote my work. Sorry. Has anybody registered for Pottermore yet? I just found the magical quill today. I'm so excited :) I feel like such a nerd right now. Anyways, here is the next chapter, hope it meets any expectations out there. Thank you for the hits and the reviews you guys make me truly smile.

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

XxXxXxXxXx

The last day of school before the Christmas holidays had arrived, and the Christmas spirit was in the air. The past week had pretty much been shot as far as learning anything went, and today the teacher's battle was completely lost. They had watched movies in their first two classes, and Jessie had spent her previous period somehow roped into a classroom-wide game of MASH, something Jessie thought she was done with back in grade four. Much to Katie's dismay, as now her theory was completely thrown out the window, Mr Cassius had returned after an extended sick leave. The past two weeks of gym class had been devoted to the dance unit, and instructors had come in to teach them various styles of dance. For their final task they were split into groups to make up their own dances.

Jessie had never been very fond of dancing, not that she'd ever given it much of a chance. She felt way too self conscious and constantly felt as if everyone's eyes were always on her. She tried to dance small and kept her muscles tense, with the result being she looked like a robot when she danced. Jessie shuddered to think what she looked like when she tried to do the actual robot.

Katie, on the other hand, took to dance with the relative ease she took to pretty much everything with. She hadn't ever had any formal training but she was able to move with a grace and ease that Jessie could not even attempt to match. Sensing her girlfriend's discomfort with the whole idea of the group dances, Katie had done her best to charm Mr Cassius into letting them be in the same group. Unfortunately, he had stuck with his original plan of drawing names out of a hat. It was said plan which ended up with Jessie being in a group with four other people she barely knew, who were about as good at dancing as she was. The result was a thoroughly unorganized, slightly spastic sixty seconds in front of her classmates that Jessie wished she could forget.

"Alright that was, um, a very good effort girls. Give them a hand please," said Mr Cassius after they finished. The class broke out in scattered applause, and Jessie sat down next to Katie, her face flaming.

"You did so well Jess!" Katie exclaimed, linking their hands and giving Jessie's a light squeeze. Jessie looked at her dubiously and Katie giggled. "Hey don't give me that look. I know you were totally nervous about this, and you got up there and did it! I'm so proud of you Jessie!" Jessie allowed Katie to pull her into a tight hug before Mr Cassius announced it was her groups turn to perform. Jessie got a very nice view of Katie's butt as she rose. It had been announced that since dance required freedom of movement, their normal gym uniforms didn't have to be worn. Katie took this advice to heart, wearing a tight shirt and 'barely there' shorts.

Katie grinned as she handed a CD over to Mr Cassius, and then took her place in her groups starting formation. They all put Santa hats on, courtesy of Katie, and then the first chords of Run DMC's Christmas in Hollis came out over the speakers. It only took one eight count before the entire class started laughing, cheering and clapping for the girls. They had forgone every single one of the moves they had learned over the unit, opting instead for the old school running man, lawnmower, sprinkler and more. Jessie was positive it was Katie who convinced her group to do it.

After about a minute the song switched to Love on Layaway, and Jessie's mouth went dry. It wasn't exactly like they were doing a sultry dance of any kind, but seeing Katie dancing up there drove Jessie wild. They were doing a Latin jazz type dance, and they way Katie's hips moved when she turned around to face the back sent Jessie's mind to some not so innocent places. Katie's shorts were so short Jessie found herself begging for them to ride up just a tiny bit more. And when the dance ended, Katie's pose was in the splits. Jessie found herself practically salivating at the thought of what Katie's flexibility would enable her to do. Leave it to Katie to find a way to make 80's hip hop and dancing to Christmas songs sexy as all get out.

Twenty minutes later Jessie and Katie were exiting the school hand in hand, though Jessie's mind was still locked on the way Katie's hips moved during her dance. She was jarred abruptly out of her thoughts by a screech and then a roar from beside her.

"Tad you are so dead!" One side of Katie's face was covered in snow, and she immediately bent down to make her own snowball to throw back at Tad. Jessie laughed as Katie chased Tad across the parking lot, hell bent on payback. She got him, and then they were in a full on snowball war with each other, ducking down behind cars and dodging people.

"You hang out with crazy people." Jessie turned to see Grace standing beside her with a look of incredulity on her face. "Do you want a drive home?"

"No, I'm pretty sure this is going to last a while. Thanks anyway." Grace nodded and walked off, and then it was Jessie's turn to shriek as ice cold water hit the back of her nice and drip down underneath her coat and sweater. She whirled around to see Katie and Tad running to shelter behind a tree. Jessie smiled. She hadn't been in a snowball fight since she was eight. Laughing, she made her own snowball and the three of them spent the next half hour in a snow flinging frenzy of fun.

When they finally made it back to her dad's house, Jessie and Katie were both soaked to the bone and freezing. They were still giddy though and Jessie found she really didn't care if she couldn't feel her toes or fingers anymore. They went up to the attic to change into some warmer attire, and then went down to the kitchen so they could indulge in some much needed hot chocolate. Much to Jessie's surprise Eli and Grace were already occupying the kitchen, talking to each other. Jessie had thought her brother would be at her mom's place, and she really didn't expect him to be talking to Grace of all people.

"Awe, look at the lovebirds," Eli said, smiling, when he noticed them enter hand in hand. Grace just huffed, probably annoyed that she couldn't escape being around happy people for any substantial length of time. "You guys wanna go to a Hawks game over your break?"

Katie's eyes lit up at that. "Really? You have tickets?"

"No." Eli shrugged. "But I can get them I'm sure."

Jessie turned to get the hot chocolate started as Eli and Katie continued to talk hockey. Katie was once again agonizing that her Hawks hadn't won since '61. Eli was going on and on about the Roenick trade. Much of their talk was foreign to Jessie, who wasn't really paying any attention until she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and a chin placed softly onto her shoulder. Smiling, Jessie leaned back into Katie's embrace. Katie pressed lingering kisses travelling from her jaw line down the side of her neck and back up. Jessie's thoughts immediately flew back to Katie's ridiculous yet hot dance routine from earlier and she felt her body heat up. Katie noticed this and pulled Jessie in tighter to her body.

"Don't burn it this time," Katie whispered in her ear before playfully nipping at it with her teeth and walking away with a cheeky grin on her face. Jessie gritted her teeth and held back a groan of frustration. What Katie could do to her was totally unfair. Get her all excited and then bring up the burning thing again...it had only happened once for goodness sake!

"Jeeze what did you do to piss off Smiles here?" Eli commented as he re-entered the kitchen in time to see Jessie slam down two mugs and splash hot liquid up over the sides. It was the first time Jessie had noticed he had ever left. Katie just shrugged with a Cheshire cat grin on her face. "Jess dad just called and said family game night is a no go." Katie started to sputter out a protest but Eli talked over her. "We're going out for dinner instead so you guys have to be ready to leave at six."

Katie was pouting and Jessie forgot all about the minor teasing incident from a few minutes ago. She didn't know if there was a more adorable sight in the world than Katie's pout. Katie met her gaze and they shared a smile.

"Still here guys," Eli stated and Jessie looked at him confusedly. "Oh come on Jessie I'm an expert at this. It starts with the lovey-dovey gazing into the eyes and then it turns into sexual tension and eye sex right in front of me. No thank you, I ain't sitting here for that."

Katie started choking on her drink and Jessie felt her face immediately heat up. "Eli! You're my brother! Eww!"

"That's exactly my point! It's something no brother should have to sit through, or even think about." Jessie looked away from Eli in embarrassment and turned toward her girlfriend to see if she needed saving. To her chagrin, she saw that the cause of Katie's choking had been laughter at Jessie's expense. She groaned and let her head fall onto the table with a loud thunk.

"I hate you both."

"Oh come on babe your face, yet again, was totally awesome." Jessie felt Katie's hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles. Unfortunately, she could also feel that hand shaking, which told Jessie that Katie was still laughing at her. "Forgive me?" Jessie looked up to see Katie's pout again and immediately knew she was a goner.

"Whatever," Jessie shrugged, trying to act unaffected by her girlfriend's cuteness and failing miserably.

"Can I ask something?" The girls turned back to face Eli, who they had once again forgotten about. "Why haven't you guys told mom and dad yet?"

Katie shrugged, and all manner of cuteness left her and she sat looking wary and slightly crestfallen. Jessie knew that in Katie's mind all parents would react the same way as her own. And while Jessie seriously doubted that would be the case in this instance, she still knew it was something which terrified Katie. She had lived her entire life living in an environment of hate and hostility toward homosexuality, and Jessie knew it was hard for her to believe some people were much different than that. Jessie was prepared to keep their relationship a secret as long as Katie wanted to; she had Katie and that was the most important thing.

Eli sat through their silence and interpreted it correctly. "It won't be bad. Mom and dad both love you to death and Katie had them dazzled from day one. And Lily, Grace and Zoe think you guys are awesome too," he added. "Besides, you guys aren't exactly as discreet as you think. The whole happy glow thing is pretty hard to ignore. As is the eye sex." That earned him a punch to the shoulder from Jessie, and surprisingly it caused him to wince. "Not nice, Jess. But seriously guys, I think you should do it. I have this gut feeling it won't go badly. And if it does, I still love you. Both of you." He stood and left them to ponder his advice.

Jessie glanced at Katie, worried about her reaction. To her surprise, Katie looked thoughtful rather than anything else. "Katie?" she started tentatively.

Katie smiled at her, and reached under the table to link their hands. "I think he's right."

"What?" Jessie had expected Katie to come around someday, but she was shocked at this sudden turnaround. She was also slightly suspicious. "Why? How?"

"I can't tell my own parents Jessie, and I know you know why. And truthfully, the thought of coming out to your parents scares the crap out of me. But, I feel like I kind of have a new family here and at your mom's house. And the last time I felt that way was with Tad's family. His mom knows I'm into the ladies. And when she found out, she just smiled and hugged me, and told me to help out Tad with the ladies, 'because she didn't think he was too smooth." Katie squeezed Jessie's hand. "I spend my life hiding from so much. But hiding should be for something you're ashamed of, and ashamed isn't a word I'd use to describe what we have. Amazing and incredible would fit. I came out to the school, and they sure had less reason to accept either one of us than your parents do."

Jessie sat in silent awe. She had never expected this. She knew Katie was waiting for some form of response and willed her brain to come up with something. "I love you," she blurted out, and then pulled Katie in for a searing kiss. They broke apart smiling.

"What do you think? Do you think it's time to tell your parents?"

"I'm worried, but only because they might not let you sleep over anymore. But I do want them to know about us Katie. I think they deserve to know the reason why I'm so happy." Katie blushed slightly and smiled bashfully. "What about tonight? We can tell my dad after dinner." Katie paled a bit, and Jessie worried that she had jumped the gun a little bit. Katie still probably needed a bit of time to fully adjust to the idea. "We don't have to," she quickly said.

"No, no; I think that would be good. Quick. Like a Band-Aid. Or your first coaster. You just gotta do it."

"Katie seriously, that was a stupid idea, let's wait a few days."

"No. For a couple reasons. First, I'm all fired up to go right now, and you know how impulsive I am. Give me a few more days and I might turtle up again. Second, I'm one hundred and ten point two percent positive about this. I think I have been for a while I've just been too scared to notice it. I love you Jessie, and if you want to do this I want to do this."

"Okay," Jessie nodded. "But are you really sure? I'm fine with waiting I really am I just want you to be ready and not just trying to make me happy if it's not what you want and-" Jessie was cut off by a pair of lips pressed firmly against her own. Katie pulled back and placed her hands on Jessie's shoulders, looking straight into her eyes.

"Listen to me. I love you. And I do want to make you happy. But I am ready. You hear that? I. Am. Ready."

Jessie couldn't help the huge smile that spread across her face. "I love you too. And it's going to be fine I know my parents and they'll be good with it, I promise." Katie nodded and Jessie was pleased to see no trace of hesitation or doubt in her expression. "We should plan out how we're going to do it though. I mean, what do we say?"

"Really Jess? We have to make a plan for this?"

Jessie frowned. "Unless you want my dad to find out like Eli did?"

"Right. A plan sounds awesome. Good call on that one Jess."

A few short hours later however, Jessie couldn't remember one bit of their meticulous plan as her and Katie stood just outside of her dad's office. She could feel her heart beating frantically inside her chest. Somehow, their roles had been reversed and Katie stood beside her cool as a cucumber. Jessie turned to face the taller girl, and some of her sudden panic must have shown in her eyes. Katie gave her a small smile and mouthed the words 'I love you'. Taking a deep breath, Jessie stepped into the room and Katie followed right behind her.

"Dad," she said to get his attention. He turned around and smiled at them.

"Hey girls. What's up?"

Jessie reached out and grasped Katie's hand, pulling her closer in towards her side. "Dad, we have something to tell you."


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: **Well it's been a while. I apologize for the wait. I was sad though...I didn't get any reviews for the last chapter. It's okay though, the story's still getting attention, and as long as I even have one person reading it I'll continue to write. This chapter is dedicated to Bud. He's my monkey and he's totally awesome. Just as a head's up, this story is winding down (ish)...there's going to be one more chapter of fluff and then we'll reach the drama filled climax and stuff. By the way if you like Glee, check out my other story Ain't it Fabulous, over in the Glee section...especially check it out if you ship Brittana. As always, thanks for sticking with me, hope you enjoy! And drop a line if so inclined, I love to hear what people think!

**Summary: **This story is A/U...Jessie has a new family and beings life at a new school, where she feels she will be completely out of place...until she meets Katie. As their relationship evolves, Jessie realizes Katie has demons and a secret which can eventually destroy her.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Once and Again, or any of its characters, or any of its storylines. Unfortunately.

XxXxXxXxXx

Jessie was snuggled under the thick blankets when something woke her up. Consciousness was a long time coming and she desperately wanted to go back to sleep. But her girlfriend was excitedly poking and nudging her and she knew going back to sleep wouldn't be an option.

"Come on Jess wake up, it's Christmas!" Katie's voice was alight with excitement and she was literally bouncing beside Jessie. "Presents are here, presents are here, presents are here! Come on, let's go!"

Jessie lazily raised her head and looked at her alarm clock. She groaned and let her head fall back down onto the much too comfy pillow when she saw it was only 5:23. Katie wasn't about to stand for that though and flung the covers off Jessie. The cold air washed over her and she shivered immediately. It did wake her up though, which was probably Katie's plan.

"Come on Jessie, you can't sleep in on Christmas morning!" Without giving Jessie a chance to respond Katie pulled her in for a kiss. "Merry Christmas!"

Despite her tiredness Jessie couldn't help but smile back at her girlfriend. Katie was acting like a little kid but Jessie found it adorable. She knew Katie's excitement was genuine. They'd had a few conversations on the subject, and Jessie knew that Christmas at Katie's house was rarely cause for much celebration. Jessie kissed Katie again, this time for much longer. "Merry Christmas Katie," she replied when they had broken apart.

Katie leaped off the bed and returned seconds later with a huge cube shaped present wrapped in red and green wrapping paper. A giant bow sat on top. Jessie frowned at it. She had already told Katie not to go overboard on her present. Katie sat the box down in front of Jessie and it towered over her, sitting as she was. As if reading her thoughts, Katie spoke up. "Jess I know what you told me, but please don't get mad it looks worse than it is. I just thought you could open it before your mom and Eli wake up."

Jessie had decided to spend Christmas with her mom and New Year's with her dad. She hated having to choose at all, but the situation couldn't be changed, so she decided to try and make the most out of what she had. Still looking at it with scepticism, Jessie began to open the present. She took the bow off and stuck it on Katie's head, giggling at how goofy it looked. She proceeded to tear the paper off, revealing a giant cardboard box.

"Oh wow Katie, a box! You shouldn't have!" Jessie laughed at her girlfriend's impatient expression. The only thing Katie loved more than receiving a gift was giving one.

"There's more Jess, open the box!"

Jessie had to kneel to be able to reach and open the top flaps of box. She reached inside, and her hands came in contact with something soft and fuzzy. Slightly puzzled, she gripped the object and pulled it out. Within moments a giant blue stuffed monkey sat on Jessie's lap. It was almost as big as she was. Jessie started laughing again because the monkey was so Katie. It had the most adorable expression on its face, and Jessie loved it immediately.

"Awe Katie he looks like you! What's his name?"

"He doesn't have one yet. You get to name him," Katie told her with a smile.

"Hmm, well Tad seems like a good fit," she said, which caused Katie to let out a snort of laughter. "But that could get really awkward if I let this monkey sleep in my bed. I think I like Bud."

"Bud? That's not very creative. Why not Benry?"

"Benry? Are you kidding? Katie you said I could name him." Jessie put on her best pout, and Katie sighed.

"Sorry Jess. Bud's an awesome name," she said with a slightly pained expression. Jessie was highly amused at her girlfriend's reaction to her lack of creativity. But Jessie liked the name Bud. It fit the monkey somehow. "Anyway, I think Bud's got a little something for you."

Jessie looked down, and sure enough in Bud's hands there was a white envelope. Jessie took it and opened it, and inside there was a plane ticket. It was to Orlando, Florida and it was dated for the first week in February. She looked up at Katie, eyes wide.

"Yeah, so I know you said that I wasn't allowed to go overboard for you, even though that's kind of silly because I have the money and why would I want to do anything other than spoil my incredible girlfriend shamelessly with it? But every year my parents pay for me to take a vacation after first semester ends; I guess it's something they think good parents do. And normally I just take Tad with me but I thought maybe this time you'd like to come too. If you don't I get it, I totally do I just hoped-" Jessie cut off Katie's ramble by pouncing on her and fusing their lips together. "So is that a yes?" Katie asked when Jessie released her.

Jessie was still having a hard time believing it. She was going on a vacation. This was the best Christmas ever! Jessie kissed Katie again, still at a loss for words. "Katie I..." she broke off. "This is...amazing! Seriously?"

Katie nodded, beaming. "The flight's already booked; same with the hotel. And I have the money to get the tickets to Disney and Universal when we're down there."

"Disney?" Jessie asked, looking at her girlfriend for confirmation. Katie nodded once more. "Oh my goodness we're going to Disney!" Jessie shrieked, and threw her arms around Katie in a bone crushing hug.

"Jess...can't...breathe," Katie squeaked out.

"Sorry," Jessie said sheepishly, releasing her.

"No worries. So...this was a good idea?"

"Yes, yes, yes, oh my God yes! This is so great; you are definitely the best girlfriend in the entire world!" Jessie paused as a thought occurred to her. "I'll have to ask my parents though. I mean, they're pretty strict on the whole missing school thing."

Katie was already shaking her head as Jessie spoke. "Don't worry about it. I already spoke to your mom and dad about it, and they already said yes." This news shocked Jessie a bit, and Katie laughed at her. "Oh come on, you know all about the Singer charm! Besides, your parents kind of love me now."

Jessie smiled happily at Katie's last words. It seemed almost strange to think that just a few weeks ago she had been terrified of coming out to her parents. It had turned out fantastic though, and Katie was right; Jessie's parents did love her. She remembered feeling shocked at her dad's reaction.

_"Dad we have something to tell you."_

_ Jessie's dad, Rick, set down the pile of papers he was holding and regarded his daughter curiously. Her expression was one notch short of scared to death, and his mind raced with all the possible things she could have to say. Did someone die? Was Jessie pregnant? His mind seized on that one; he was going to kill Tad. "What is it?" he asked in a steely tone he immediately regretted using when it appeared to frighten Jessie further. That's when he noticed Katie squeeze her hand reassuringly. Strange..._

_ "Dad I...we are...well, Katie is my..." she stopped and took a deep breath. "Katie and I are in love," she said in a single exhale, so quick Rick almost missed it._

_ Rick breathed a sigh of relief at the realization his precious daughter wasn't pregnant. Then what she said registered. Jessie and Katie...in love? His daughter was a lesbian? He looked at Jessie, who was waiting with bated breath for his reaction, and realized he didn't care. Jessie deserved happiness, and if that was what she had with Katie, then that was perfect._

_ "Dad?" Jessie questioned, and Rick realized he had been sitting there silent for quite some time._

_ "Right, sorry. Jessie, don't look so scared. I think it's great."_

_ "I...you...what?"_

_ Rick and Katie both chuckled at Jessie's mystification. "Jessie you're my little girl. I love you more than anything and I just want you to be happy. And looking back, ever since Katie came into your life you've been happier than I've ever seen you. That's all that matters to me." He then shifted his focus to Katie. "You'll take good care of her, right?"_

_ Katie nodded, smiling. "Always."_

_ "Good," Rick replied. "I'm trusting you with my baby girl's heart you know."_

_ "Dad," Jessie whined._

_ "Don't 'dad' me, you'll understand when you have your own kids. Now come here Jessica Sammler." Rick held open his arms and Jessie gratefully fell into the hug. "I love you, no matter what."_

_ "I love you too dad." _

_ Rick looked over her shoulder to where Katie was watching the pair with pure happiness on her face. "Hey you, get over here. I'm waiting for my other daughter to join this hug." _

_ With a smile wider than the sky Katie made her way over to them, and the three held onto each other for a long time._

After telling her dad, Jessie decided to tell her mom. Her mom reacted in much the same way as her dad did. Except there were tears with her mom. And a lot of 'oh my little girl is growing up so fast' statements. To have her parents so accepting and accommodating of her relationship with Katie meant the world to Jessie. But she knew it meant even more to Katie. For Katie, it was like having a new set of parents, ones who actually cared for her and loved her.

"I love you," Jessie said, pulling Katie in for a softer hug than her earlier one.

"I love you too Jessie. Always."

Thirty minutes later, most of which were spent in a way Jessie's mom probably wouldn't approve of, the two girls straightened out their pyjamas and made their way downstairs. Jessie's mom and Eli were waiting for them in the kitchen with hot chocolate. Everyone laughed at the way Katie dove at hers with extreme enthusiasm. Then they made their way into the living room where the tree was located.

Katie had helped them pick out the tree and decorate it, all while playing some of the most obscure Christmas music any of them had ever heard. As the presents began to gather under it, Katie got more and more impatient. Jessie had caught her numerous times picking up any present with her name on it and shaking it gently to try and decipher what was inside.

The four of them sat down on the floor around the tree, and as per family tradition, they each picked out a present they had bought for somebody else. Eli was in love with his new Chicago Blackhawk's hat courtesy of Katie. He was less in love with the traditional clothes Karen had given him, and tried to tackle Jessie when the box she handed him contained nothing but a lump of coal. She appeased him by turning over his real gift; some new computer game he had been going on and on about for months. Knowing her mom's love of the kitchen, Jessie and Katie had gone it together to buy her a box filled with various kitchen devices.

"Oh, Katie, this one's for you," Karen said as she pulled out a brightly wrapped gift.

Katie blushed and mumbled, "You shouldn't have."

"Nonsense, you're part of the family too you know."

Still blushing, but looking incredibly happy at the same time, Katie opened her gift. Jessie was amused to see how she carefully saved the wrapping paper. Jessie was touched when she saw the gift her mom had given Katie. It was a picture of the four of them at supper just days earlier, when Jessie had told her mom the truth about the relationship. Karen had an arm around each girl, holding them close, while Katie had dragged Eli into the picture. The four of them were all smiling brightly, and the frame around the picture was silver with the word 'family' engraved on it. Jessie swallowed a lump in her throat at the thoughtfulness of her mom's gift. She knew her mom was sharp, and Jessie knew she had picked up on the lack of family support Katie had in her house. Jessie knew this was her mom's way of letting Katie know that she had a family to turn to if ever she needed it. Jessie and her mom both knew that for Katie, family was the thing she valued and craved above all.

"Thank you Karen," Katie said quietly, and the two embraced for a long time.

After that things lightened up again, especially when Eli pulled a gift certificate for a haircut out of his stocking. "It's getting ridiculously long dear," was their mom's only explanation.

Jessie didn't figure her present for Katie would compare to her mom's, but she handed it to her knowing she'd love it anyway. Jessie had placed her present inside a box, and wrapped it with three layers of paper. She'd then put that inside another box, which had been wrapped in five layers. Then all of that went inside a box filled with bubble wrap and also wrapped five times. Fifteen minutes later, Katie was still working on it.

"Is there even a gift in here? Or is this one of those things where it gets smaller and smaller until I get a peanut or something."

"Of course there's a gift." Katie huffed, and Jessie laughed at her. "You could have it opened by now if you hadn't stopped to pop every single bubble on the bubble wrap you know," Jessie pointed out.

"Jessie that's sacrilege! You can't not pop bubble wrap. I defy anyone to even try letting that opportunity pass by."

Five minutes later, Jessie was being peppered by kisses from her girlfriend and having ears assaulted with high pitched squeals of excitement.

"Thank you Jessie! This means so much to me! Oh my goodness this is totally awesome!"

Jessie laughed; pleased she had gotten her girlfriend a good gift. She remembered Katie telling her a while back about how her parents had thrown out her copy of the first Harry Potter book and said it was too childish. She had borrowed all of them from the library to read, but knew she couldn't buy them because her parents would throw them out again. Jessie had noticed the first time she was in Katie's room that all her books were classical literature. So Jessie had bought her the four Harry Potter books out to keep at her place.

After presents, the four of them went tobogganing for hours. They came home and Katie and Karen prepared supper, which was incredibly delicious and filling. After that, it was a Christmas movie marathon until 1 a.m., when they decided it was time for bed.

Jessie laid down and felt Katie snuggle up behind her. "Best Christmas ever," Katie whispered, placing a kiss on Jessie's cheek.

Jessie smiled, and readily agreed. It really had been the best Christmas ever.

XxXxXxXxXx

"Katie! Don't let go, I'm gonna die!"

"Jess you're fine! See there you go. One foot and then the other foot. It's almost like walking!"

Jessie didn't know much about skating, but she did know that it wasn't like walking. She regarded the blades on her foot as lethal weapons, and had already become more than well acquainted with the ice. Which hurt a lot.

Jessie's dad and Lily had decided on a family skate in Chicago for New Year's Eve. Somehow, and Jessie wasn't sure how it had happened, both her dad and Eli knew how to skate but had never taught Jessie. This had apparently slipped her dad's mind until they arrived at the outdoor rink and Jessie had frozen in fright. He tried to apologize for the oversight through his giggling.

As with seemingly every athletic thing, Katie could not only skate but she could skate well. She could skate so well Rick and Eli had asked her why she didn't play hockey. Katie was a magician on skates, and tried to pass some of her knowledge on to Jessie, but so far that had failed epically. She immediately fell after stepping onto the ice, and Katie had laughed for minutes and told her how much she looked like Bambi. Katie helped her up eventually though, and the instruction began. Jessie could now skate for a whole ten feet before collapsing.

Currently, Katie was skating backwards in front of Jessie, holding out her hands for Jessie to use as support. Katie was keeping up a steady stream of advice and encouragement, but Jessie was concentrating so hard she barely heard any of it.

"I'm going to let go now okay?"

"What? No Katie!" Jessie shook her head frantically, panicking. "If you let go I'll fall!"

"Jess you're doing so good! You're ready for this, trust me. Okay?" Jessie nodded, taking a deep breath. "Alright then, on three. One...two...three!"

Katie released Jessie's hands, and Jessie closed her eyes and prepared herself for contact with the rock hard ice. It never came though. She tentatively opened her eyes and was amazed to see she was gliding along the ice all by herself, albeit at a pace slower than her grandma could walk. Feeling a smile break out on her face, Jessie pushed back with her one skate, propelling herself forward by inches. Amazed, she did the same thing with the other foot, and it worked too.

Katie clapped her hands excitedly. "There you go Jessie! See, you're amazing!"

Jessie laughed and eagerly decided to push off of her skates with more oomph to increase her speed. Suddenly her skate got stuck in the ice and she flew forward, crashing face first into Katie with enough force to knock them both down. Unlike all her previous falls though, this one didn't hurt Jessie. Katie, who was now the one wincing, had cushioned her fall.

"Sorry," Jessie muttered.

"My fault," Katie responded. "I forgot you're not wearing hockey skates. Figure skates have toe picks. Toe picks tend to get stuck in the ice. Sorry. My bad."

Eli skated up to them laughing. "That was the best wipe out yet," he said as he offered them each a hand and pulled them up. "Dad got some food, let's go."

Eli hooked his arm through one of Jessie's arms, and Katie did the same with her other arm, and together the two of them safely pulled Jessie towards the side of the rink, where they exited and took off their skates. They made their way over to the table where everyone sat. They ate and laughed, and for Jessie it was almost like old times. Katie somehow managed to get her hands on a pair of the goofiest looking glasses Jessie had ever seen. They were in the shape of 2003, using the two zeros as eye holes. After they finished eating, Katie somehow convinced Jessie to go back out on the rink.

They skated and laughed, and Jessie made menial improvement. At five minutes to midnight, they made their way to the end of the rink where a giant TV screen had been set up to broadcast a New Year's celebration from somewhere. When the countdown started, the couple hundred people at the rink all cheered out the numbers. Katie had her arms wrapped around Jessie from behind, and Jessie could feel her getting more and more excited with every passing second.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

The cheer rose up from all sides of them, and Jessie turned around in Katie's arms to face her. "Happy New Year baby," Jessie said.

"Happy New Year yourself," Katie replied. "How about my New Year's kiss now?"

Smiling, Jessie tilted her head upwards to connect their lips. She felt like she just may be the luckiest girl in the world.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: **Hey. Long time no see, eh? First things first; I have to get some logistical stuff out of the way (I don't know if that was the right context to use logistical in, but I wanted to sound brilliant). I have no idea how long it will take for me to get out the last six or so chapters. I've started university, and between everything I have going on I'm super busy. Also, now that this chapter is out of the way, it will get into some dark stuff again. That's always hard for me to write since this is so personal for me. I'm not going to put this story on hiatus or anything, I just want to let you guys know it won't be a quick journey. I'm not going to stop writing this fic. I'm way too devoted to this story, and I know I still have a ton of people reading it. Thank you to all of you who are still reading, and special thanks to **brokenpath.**

So, this chapter is very long. For anybody who knows me though, it wouldn't be a surprise. I've been down to Florida four times (five if you count the time when I was a few months old but I don't since I don't remember it). So this chapter is super long and super fluffy. The Tower of Terror experience is 100% not imagination, and I couldn't resist throwing in Katie's plan for the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I'll do my best not to keep you waiting too long for the next chapter, but all I can guarantee is that it won't be this week. You won't be alone waiting though. I'm still waiting for my Pottermore welcome email.

XxXxXxXxXx

"Is she okay? It looks like she stuck her finger in a socket." Eli was looking down at his sister in concern as they exited the ride. Jessie was shaking uncontrollably and tripping over her own feet. So far she hadn't even been able to even utter a single word.

"She'll be fine. Right Jessie? It was fun, wasn't it?" Katie didn't get any reaction from the shorter girl. She was gripping Jessie's arm tightly to try and hold her upright as they entered the gift shop located at the exit of the ride.

"I've never seen someone floating like that," Tad said sniggering. "I looked over, and there was Jessie, hugging the bar with her arms while her butt's floating up sideways beside her. It was hilarious."

"Don't talk about my girlfriend's butt."

"Guys, I'm kind of nervous," Eli said. "She hasn't even said one word yet."

"Oh man, we forgot to check out our picture!" Katie exclaimed, completely ignoring Eli's comment.

"Damn!" Tad said, disappointed. "That would've been great! Can you imagine what Jessie's face would've looked like in it?"

"Maybe we should go on again," Katie suggested. That finally got a response out of the shell-shocked girl.

"N-N-No," Jessie got out.

"Thank God, she lives!" Tad laughed.

"Not going on again. Ever. Will not...happen. Katie...hate you."

Tad and Katie burst out in uncontrollable laughter at Jessie's broken sentences, and Eli, assured his sister hadn't become brain dead, joined in. Jessie pouted.

"Awe, I'm sorry Jess. Here, let me buy you a souvenir. How about a t-shirt?" Katie offered. Jessie just shook her head. "Come on Jess, you just survived Tower of Terror! You need a t-shirt to remember that!"

"Like I'm ever going to forget that," Jessie huffed, finally able to get full sentences out. "What's a ride like that doing in Disney? This is supposed to be a family place." The other three laughed at her again.

After Jessie had picked out a t-shirt and Katie talked her into letting her pay for it, Eli and Jessie waited at the end of the ride for Katie and Tad to return. Since it was their favourite ride, they insisted on riding it at least once more. Eli wanted to as well, but after seeing his sister's steadfast refusal to get back into the line, he decided to keep her company.

The four of them had arrived in Florida two days ago. Jessie had been surprised and pleased when Katie suggested Eli come along. She thought his presence would keep Tad from feeling like the third wheel. They had spent the previous day stocking their villa (yes Katie got them a villa) with food before they explored the town a little bit. They had hit a few gift shops and then stopped at an amazing pizza place to get some dinner. As they ate, Katie explained their itinerary. As her and Tad had been down to Florida many times before, they knew when the best times were to hit the theme parks. It was decided that MGM was the first park they'd hit.

Katie was different on this trip, and Jessie loved it. It wasn't that she had changed who she was or anything, she was just freer. She wore short sleeve tops and Jessie almost died when they went swimming the night before and she Katie in a bikini for the first time. Katie was with people who knew about her scars and she honestly didn't care what the other tourists thought when they were never going to see her again anyway. Jessie was broken from her musings by Eli nudging her in the side.

"Look," he said, pointing up to the screen with the ride photos on it. Somehow, Jessie had missed it when she got off the ride. It might've had something to do with the fact the ride had disconnected something in her brain. "There they are. Those goofs."

Jessie and Eli shared a laugh at the picture. Katie and Tad were clinging to each other dramatically, their faces in expressions of mock fear.

"Yes Tad, we nailed it!" Jessie turned around to see Katie and Tad walking towards them, both looking up at their picture.

"Oh yeah, score! We've got to buy that picture Katie."

"Yeah here, go buy us each one," Katie said, handing Tad some money. Tad walked up to the counter and Katie came up to her girlfriend and wrapped her arms around her. "Have you recovered?"

Jessie nodded against Katie's chest. "Just don't ever drag me on something like that again."

"Awe, Jessie!" Katie whined. "First, don't make me feel guilty, because I didn't drag you on. You went perfectly willingly, and you didn't even ask me what the ride was like! You can totally blame your experience on your own naiveté about Disney rides. Second, you have to go on it again! And in Universal there's a roller coaster and a water ride that you have to go on! You can't chicken out on me already."

Ten minutes later, as the group was walking towards the Indiana Jones stunt show, Katie was still trying to talk Jessie into riding scary rides with her. Jessie was steadfastly refusing, and Tad and Eli were highly amused at the scene.

Hours later, the park was nearing closing and they were preparing to head over to Epcot to watch the fireworks. Since Tad and Katie knew the park like the back of their hands, they were able to ride everything they wanted to, sometimes much more than one time. Jessie couldn't believe the stamina those two had for theme parks. She had waited while the other three road the Aerosmith coaster, but didn't mind at all. Jessie had a fun day.

"You know, the Tower's right by the exit," Katie pointed out as they walked towards the gates. "All we have to do is cut down this street right here, and we'll have time for one last ride."

Tad and Eli were game, but Jessie refused. "Katie I can't. Didn't you see me on that ride? I can't do it again."

"Jessie, I'll hold on tighter this time. You'll be fine. I promise. Please?" Jessie just shook her head, and Katie sighed in defeat. "Fine. But we've got another whole day to spend in this park, so don't think you're getting off that easily."

They took the tram out to the parking lot section they were in, and Eli got behind the wheel of their rented car. Following Katie's directions, they made it to their next destination. Jessie and Eli had both been shocked to see that Disney was basically its own city. It had a three lane highway, and its own transit system. The four went into the next park, and Jessie looked up in awe at the giant Epcot ball she had only ever seen before in pictures. Katie took in the look of wonderment on Jessie's face, and asked Tad to snap a picture of the two of them. They posed with their arms around each other.

Following Katie's guidance, they staked out a spot in front of the World Showcase Lagoon. Eli and Jessie were both talking about the ride they had passed, and how cool it looked. They knew though that they had to keep their spot for the fireworks. Katie whispered something in Tad's ear, and he disappeared for a few minutes. When he returned, he was holding four tiny tickets in his hand.

"What are those?" Jessie asked curiously.

"Fast passes," Tad responded. Upon seeing Jessie and Eli's blank looks, he elaborated. "You can get fast passes using your park ticket. They basically allow you to jump ahead of the line and reduce your wait time drastically."

"We can ride Test Track two at a time," Katie said. "Eli and Tad can go first, and then Jessie and I can go. This way we'll be able to ride the ride, save our spot and make it back in time to see the fireworks."

Eli and Tad went off, and Jessie watched as people filed in and took their places around the Lagoon as well. She couldn't believe how popular these fireworks were. Twenty minutes later, the boys returned. Eli was grinning like a little kid, but he wouldn't tell Jessie what the ride was like.

"You're going to love it," was all Eli offered as they swapped spots.

Katie and Jessie walked hand in hand to the ride and got into line. Jessie watched in amazement as they passed through the coolest line she had ever seen. It was an actual car part testing facility. She couldn't see any of it up close, because they weren't going through the normal line, but it was still really cool. They waited for a few minutes and then watched an introduction video. They joined another line, and after a few minutes got into their car.

"This ride isn't like Tower right?" Jessie asked nervously as she did up her seatbelt. They were sitting side by side in the front of their red car.

Katie shrugged with a smile. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"Katie! Oh my God, are you serious? Am I going to die? Oh my God, help me. I don't want to ride this anymore." Jessie was hyperventilating as they went through the seatbelt check. Then their car stopped at the bottom of a steep hill.

"Here we go," Katie said, taking Jessie's hand. Jessie screamed as the car shot off up the hill, but soon found herself laughing as they went through the ride. It was really like being a crash test dummy, except much safer. They went through the rough road test, the brake test, the conditions tests and the hairpin turns. Jessie was enjoyed herself until they got to the section labelled barrier test. Many feet ahead of them was the barrier, and Jessie had seen this sort of thing on TV before.

"Katie, that door's going to open right? Katie are we going to die?" Jessie began hyperventilating again. The car shot off, and Jessie closed her eyes in fear. She felt Katie's hand on her cheek, gently turning her face and capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. The next thing Jessie knew they were outside, zooming around the track she had seen earlier as they walked past. Jessie laughed and Katie whooped, and by the time the ride was over they were windswept but ecstatic.

The two walked hand in hand out of the ride, with Jessie going on and on about how much fun it had been. She was just talking about the brake test when they saw the ride photos. Jessie located theirs, and her smile grew impossibly bigger at the sight. There were four other people in the car, but Jessie didn't care about any of them. Her eyes were locked on herself and Katie, who were sharing a kiss. It was so sweet it made Jessie's heart swell with love.

"Katie can we buy that picture?"

"Of course we can Jess," Katie said, smiling at how adorable her girlfriend was. A few minutes later the couple rejoined Tad and Eli at the now extremely crowded Lagoon. Jessie and Eli both talked animatedly about Test Track until the fireworks started. And when they did start, Jessie found herself amazed for about the hundred and seventeenth time that day.

Jessie stood at the railing, looking up at the sky in awe. Katie had her arms wrapped around her from behind, and would lightly kiss her girlfriend every time Jessie would give a little gasp of excitement. Jessie didn't know it, but Katie was watching her more than the fireworks. She squeezed her girlfriend tighter as the finale came up, knowing Jessie would crazy over it. And sure enough, when the heart-pounding finale was over, Jessie clapped and cheered.

The four of them followed the crowd out of the park, their long day suddenly leaving them exhausted, but exhilarated. They were only two days in, but Jessie already knew this was the best vacation she had ever been on.

XxXxXxXxXx

"Jessie, I promise you, this ride is nothing," Katie said, trying to convince her girlfriend. "Look, there are even little kids going on it!"

"That's what you said yesterday," Jessie said through gritted teeth. They had spent the previous day at Magic Kingdom, and Jessie had let herself be talked into riding Splash Mountain. She had not enjoyed the experience. Okay, she admitted she may have been overreacting a tiny bit, but she still didn't like it.

"Jessie that _was_ a kid's ride. This ride is fine, you'll see." Jessie looked at her girlfriend, who was still flushed with excitement having just ridden the Hulk. It was the biggest, meanest and greenest roller coaster Jessie had ever laid eyes on, and Jessie had flat out refused to go anywhere near it. "Jessie, I promise. If this ride gets to you, all you have to do is close your eyes, and the feeling goes away."

"She's not lying Jessie. It's a fantastic ride," Tad added.

"Fine," Jessie said. "But Katie you're holding onto me the entire time and you're not letting go, do you hear me?"

"I think I can live with that," Katie smirked.

They got into the line, and like every other line in Disney and Universal, it was themed and not at all boring. In this particular line, they were walking through the Daily Bugle. They got near the end of the line, and Tad handed them all a pair of the most ridiculous 3-D glasses Jessie had ever seen. It wasn't long before they were sitting in their ride vehicle. Jessie started to get a little nervous as they started to move. Katie felt her girlfriend tense up, so she tightened the arm around her shoulder and pulled her in closer, kissing her cheek.

"You're going to love it, I promise," Katie whispered.

Thirty minutes later, after riding the ride two more times, the others had finally managed to drag Jessie away from her new favourite ride. Katie had been right. She loved the Spiderman ride. They were making their way to the Jurassic Island, where Katie and Tad claimed there was one of the best rides ever. That comment made Jessie nervous, since Katie and Tad had said the exact same thing about the Hulk, Tower of Terror and Splash Mountain.

They passed by a river raft ride, and that caught Jessie's attention. It looked more her speed. She asked if they could ride that.

"Of course we will Jess!" Katie responded eagerly. "But trust me; you'll want to wait until later in the day for that. When they say you'll get soaked, they're definitely understating it. We'll wait until the sun gets a little hotter."

They continued on, and walked through giant gates and the first thing Jessie saw was the jeep from the first movie with a giant dinosaur lunging out from behind it. They all got pictures beside it, and then continued on to the ride Katie and Tad wanted to go on so bad. They stood beside a little river with a gigantic white building at the end of it. Jessie was watching boats coming out of the bottom of the building in a spray of water with growing unease. She didn't like not being able to see what this ride was about. She wasn't able to see Tower of Terror either.

"What goes on inside that building?" she asked Katie.

"I've already told you, Jess. It's like Splash Mountain, except way more fun."

"So, since fun for you equals terror for me, I should avoid this ride, right?"

Katie pouted. "Please Jess? You'll have fun, I promise." Jessie shook her head and tried to avoid looking into Katie's pleading eyes. "Jessie, please. It would make me so happy. Please?" Jessie accidently looked up and cursed herself internally. Fifteen minutes later, she was sitting between Katie and Eli in one of the yellow boats.

"Is it too late to get off this ride?" Jessie asked, shaking in fear.

"Jessie, please try to calm down," Katie said, rubbing her back soothingly. "It's a great ride. Try to enjoy it."

Their boat started to move, and they went through the giant gates with the Jurassic Park theme song playing, making Jessie momentarily feel like she was in the movie. Their boat continued on, and Jessie watched with wonder as they passed by actual moving dinosaurs. It was so cool she almost forgot about how terrified she was. She remembered though, when a minute later one of the dinosaurs knocked their boat into the Raptor containment area. The flashing lights and sirens were enough to set off Jessie's own internal alarm system.

"Katie," she whispered, burrowing herself into her girlfriend's chest. "Katie I don't want to ride this anymore. Can we stop it?"

Katie smiled at her. "We can't stop it Jess, but you're going to be okay."

Jessie shook her head. "No. Katie I'm serious, I want off this ride."

Katie was at a loss for what to do, so she just held her girlfriend tighter. When they entered the white building a moment later, Jessie really started to freak out. She didn't know what was going to happen, all she knew is that it would happen inside this building. When their boat started climbing up a very steep hill, Jessie lost it.

"Oh crap, oh goodness, oh crap, I'm gonna die," she hyperventilated, tears starting to stream down her face. "Stop the ride. I want off. I can't do this. I want off!"

"Jessie, we're just going to go down a little hill in a moment," Katie said as they stopped their climb. "Just a little drop. That's it."

"A little drop?"

"Just eighty-five feet," Katie said meekly.

Jessie's eyes widened comically. "I'm going to fall out! Oh my God I'm going to die!"

"Jess, shh, it's okay I won't let you fall out." Katie wrapped her arms around Jessie's shoulders and shifted her legs so they were locking her girlfriend's in place. "See Jess, I've got you."

Their boat turned a corner, and standing in front of them was a huge T-rex. It bowed its enormous head down, and there was nowhere for them to go except...

Jessie stood outside in the sunlight a few minutes later, trying not to spill her pop in her shaking hand. Katie was hugging her, trying to comfort her while silently struggling to contain a fit of laughter. In her hand was a bag containing a few ride photos for them, and Jessie's face as they had taken the plunge was the most priceless thing any of them had ever seen. Eli and Tad weren't trying to hold anything back like Katie was; they were full out laughing at the poor girl.

"Oh Jessie, your face. It is..." Eli couldn't finish as he doubled over in renewed laughter. Katie gave the boys a reproving look, but couldn't help letting out a snort of laughter herself.

"Jess, honey, are you okay?" Katie asked with what she hoped was sincerity, even though her voice quavered with laughter.

"I'm fine," Jessie said in a small voice, which only caused the boys to laugh harder. Jessie just held on to her girlfriend tighter. "Isn't there like a carousel or something that we can ride?"

"You know what Jess, there is. Let's head over to Seuss Landing, and we can ride that carousel and get some actually green eggs and ham."

"Only if we stop at Duelling Dragons on the way," Tad said. "If I'm going to be sitting on a carousel, I had better do something manly beforehand."

So the group carried on, stopping so Katie, Tad and Eli could ride a vicious-looking inverted roller coaster. As they were walking through the rest of the Lost Continent, Katie spoke up.

"You know what would make this place even cooler? If they built a Harry Potter themed island."

"Harry Potter doesn't live on an island though," Tad said, laughing at Katie's idea.

"No Tad, I'm serious! It's brilliant! Think about it. They could build Hogwarts, and then either Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, or maybe use a few shops from each. You could buy wands and brooms and butterbeer and stuff, and they could base rides off of Quidditch and the Triwizard Tournament!"

Katie continued to enthuse about her marvellous idea as they made their way to the carousel, and the others quickly got caught up in her idea. Katie insisted she would write to the Islands of Adventure management group, and present the idea. They finally made it to the Caro-Seuss-el and Jessie sat on her whatever it was with contentment as they went round and round. She sincerely hoped Katie wouldn't try to get her on any other scary rides. She didn't think her heart could handle it.

XxXxXxXxXx

"Please Jessie? It's our last day in the parks. Just one time. Please."

It was the morning of their last day in Disney, and Jessie found herself standing dangerously close to the entrance for Tower of Terror. The other three wanted to ride it again, and Katie really wanted Jessie to try it one more time. She kept saying how Jessie would regret it if she went home and didn't try it at least one more time.

"Jessie, it won't be as bad as last time," Tad assured her. "You know what to expect now."

"Tad's right," Katie said, nodding. "Just brace your feet against the floor, and push upwards. The more you can get yourself in a standing position, the less feeling you'll get in your stomach."

Jessie's brain shut down, and when it started working again she was in line with the others, standing in the old 1930's style hotel that served as the line. They were ushered into the old, dusty library, where they watched the video Jessie had hoped she would never see again. Then it was off into the boiler room, and Jessie's stomach started churning.

"Do they have a chicken exit?"

Katie sighed. "Of course they do, Jess. But I should warn you, it's also an elevator. They didn't plan that part out very well. But please, stay with us."

Jessie took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves, and somehow got herself through the rest of the line and into a seat in the service elevator. The four of them were sitting in the very back row. Jessie locked one arm around the bar, and the with the other she gripped Katie in a near headlock. The doors closed and they rose. When the doors opened again, a hallway in the hotel appeared, and so did a hologram of the family who were 'lost' in the episode.

"Jess, look at the lollipop the little girl's holding," Katie whispered in her ear. "It's a hidden Mickey, do you see it?"

Jessie nodded mutely, catching sight of it right before the hallway disappeared into stars. The doors closed again and they continued to rise up to the thirteenth floor. Jessie gripped Katie's hand in a death grip. Her hand was ice cold.

"One stormy night long ago, five people stepped through the doors of an elevator and into a nightmare," said the recorded voice of Rod Serling. "That door is opening once again, and this time, it's opening for you."

When the doors opened again Jessie gripped Katie's hand in a death grip. Her hand was ice cold. At first there was a maintenance room and then it turned into another hallway of stars. Their elevator travelled out through the 'fifth dimension' to a cacophony of strange sounds, and then there was a blinding flash of light. The elevator stopped. Jessie's heart stalled. She crushed Katie's hand and tried to brace her feet like Katie had recommended.

Rod Serling's voice rang out again in the pitch darkness. "You are about to discover what lies beyond the fifth dimension. Beyond the deepest, darkest corner of your imagination. In the Tower of Terror."

And then Jessie was falling, feeling herself rise up out of her seat as the elevator dropped faster than gravity. Suddenly she was pressed back down as they shot up. Higher and higher they climbed, and then suddenly they dropped again, Jessie's stomach staying somewhere in her throat. The elevator shot back up, and this time it stopped. The windows had opened, and suddenly the crazy riders found themselves looking out over the rest of the park.

"Look Jessie, isn't it amazing?" Katie shrieked with glee. Jessie shook her head, her eyes nearly popping out of her head.

The elevator dropped, but this time only about twenty feet. They went back up, and the elevator started shuddering, scrambling the riders so they didn't know when the drop was going to come. Suddenly it did, and Jessie screamed loud enough to wake the dead. Surely this was the last drop...but no, up again, and then another one hundred and seventy foot drop. This time though, the elevator stayed at the bottom.

Jessie walked out of the elevator on shaking legs, still seizing Katie's hand. Eli and Tad followed them off, laughing insanely. It seemed Eli had found his favourite ride. This time they made sure to see their ride photo, and even Jessie couldn't help but laugh. Eli and Tad had their hands up in the air, clearly thrilled. Katie was laughing, with the arm that Jessie wasn't cutting off circulation wrapped around Jessie's shoulders. And Jessie's eyes were bugging out and her mouth was hanging open in a silent but terrified scream. Katie bought them each a picture before they left.

"Never again," Jessie mumbled as they exited through the gift shop. "That was the last time. Ever."

"Awe, Jess you're so brave," Katie said, giving her a kiss on the lips. "What do you want to do now? You can choose our next stop."

Jessie thought for a moment, then grinned. "The Muppet Show."

XxXxXxXxXx

The next night Jessie and Katie were sitting beside each other, feet dangling in the warm water of their villa complex's outdoor pool. Tad and Eli had gone off to see some sort of show, but the two girls had opted to spend their last night in Florida relaxing. The pool had been crowded earlier, but as it got later the people had gradually cleared out, and now they had the place all to themselves. Jessie was resting her head on her girlfriend's bare shoulder. She was still amazed at how gorgeous Katie looked in her black bikini.

"I don't want to go home," Jessie said quietly. "These have been the most amazing two weeks of my life."

Katie smiled. "I'm glad you've had fun. I'm so happy you came."

"This whole time here has just been magical. I love it so much. I think this just might be among the happiest moments of my life."

"Well, Disney is the happiest place on Earth," said Katie with another smile. Katie slid off the edge of the pool and into the water. She turned to face Jessie, and worked her way in between her girlfriend's legs. Jessie shivered, causing Katie to smile sweetly at her. The next thing Jessie knew she was being pulled into water and dunked. She rose to the surface sputtering.

"Katie!" she yelled. Leave it to Katie to ruin a peaceful moment. "I didn't want to get my hair wet," Jessie complained, brushing the sopping strands out of her eyes. Katie just laughed.

"Oh Jess, hush up. You look hot."

Jessie quirked an eyebrow. "Oh do I?" she said coyly, making her way closer to her girlfriend. Katie smirked and nodded, and when Jessie got close enough she angled her head for a kiss. Just as their lips were about to connect, Jessie grabbed Katie's shoulders and pushed down, dunking her girlfriend.

"Jess!" Katie coughed as she surfaced. "That was totally uncalled for."

"How? You dunked me first!"

"An eye for an eye just makes the whole world blind," Katie sang out, and Jessie laughed. The two started a dunking battle, and splashed around playfully for a few minutes. Then Katie grabbed Jessie from behind. "I love you," she whispered into her girlfriend's ear. Jessie shivered again.

"I love you too," Jessie replied. She shivered for a third time when she felt Katie's lips begin to kiss and suck at her shoulder and neck. Katie worked her way up Jessie's jaw and took her ear in between her teeth softly yet wantonly.

"You look so sexy right now Jess," Katie breathed out. Jessie's heart started to beat a little faster. She twisted her head around to capture Katie's lips in a heated kiss. Their tongues battled and Katie's hands started to wander all across Jessie's front. They broke apart breathing raggedly. Jessie turned around in Katie's arms. They shared another shorter, but no less heated kiss. "I'm ready," said Katie quietly as they separated.

"You are?"

Katie nodded. "I am. I love you Jessie. You make me feel safe and cared for, and I know I have nothing to worry about with you. I trust you, and I'm ready for this if you are."

"I am too," Jessie breathed out, her tone both nervous and excited at the same time. They connected their lips once again, and Jessie let her hands wander to the thin straps of Katie's bikini. Her fingers began playing with the straps as she tried to work up the courage to undo them, but Katie broke away and pulled Jessie's hands away.

"Not here," Katie said. "I want you in a bed." The girls literally ran out of the pool and up to their room, forgetting about the towels and flip flops they left at the poolside. Katie fumbled with the key card as Jessie attacked her neck from behind, but finally they made it inside. They went into the separate bedroom they had claimed from the boys. When they were inside the room though, they suddenly got nervous. Neither could believe this was actually going to happen.

Katie took the first move, grabbing Jessie's hand and pulling her in for another kiss. As the kiss went on, Jessie felt her nervousness start to drain away and be replaced with a feeling of heat and desire. Jessie gently pushed Katie back and they fell onto the bed, with Jessie ending up straddling Katie. Feeling bold, Jessie tugged at the strings and pulled Katie's bikini top off. When Jessie's eyes met with Katie's breasts for the first time, she couldn't stop staring

"Hey Jess, if you want to maybe put those eyes back in your head..." Katie trailed off, biting her bottom lip. She was smirking, but Jessie still saw nervousness in her eyes. Jessie kissed Katie softly, trying to calm her girlfriend.

When Katie's hands found the back of Jessie's bikini top and pulled it off, Jessie knew Katie was ready. Jessie thought she would feel nervous with her girlfriend's eyes on her uncovered chest, but she felt far from it. Katie's lust filled gaze only turned Jessie on. Getting a rush of courage, Jessie lowered herself down Katie's body a bit, and latched her mouth onto Katie's breast. She didn't really have any idea what she was doing, but hearing Katie voicing her pleasure was enough to drive Jessie on. Katie arched her back, driving her centre into Jessie's, and both girls moaned at the contact.

Quickly the nerves and awkwardness were replaced by want and instinct, and the two lovers carried on until they were completely spent. They dressed so the boys didn't walk in on something they shouldn't, and then fell into a completely contented sleep in each other's arms.


End file.
